Halloween Scene: Live Blogging Slaughter High (1986)

Man, how cool is this poster? And guess what? Aside from the text, it has zero to do with Slaughter High, a mostly boring movie that swipes from several better movies, has terrible acting, a cool looking slasher, some decent effects and one amazingly original idea ruined by a stupid ending. Instead of reviewing this movie, I'm just going to give you a look at the notes I took while watching. Also, if you want a more in-depth review, check out BC's over at HMAD which I just re-read and it explains why so many of the actors talked funny. Hit the jump for the live blogging.

*"You wanna do it don't you?" - girl to nerd "Me? I'm a sex machine" nerd Marty. This is exactly from Porky's (1982) or Toxic Avenger (1984), two much better movies.

*Marty turning "Marty sucks" into "Marty fucks" is fairly clever.

*"April Fool's! Where's the beef?" They're poking him with a stick! Jesus, they make the kids from Tromaville look like good Samaritans.

*They electrocute him, drag him across the bathroom floor naked AND give him a swirly all while filming the whole thing with what looks like the crew of a small budget film? that's some cold shit.

*Now, this part with the coach giving the bullies shit is like Carrie (1976).

*Awesome, now they're giving the nerd weed.

*Jesus, they just set this kid up to die in a chemical fire.

*So, there's a time jump and now it's reunion time.

*Hey, how come only 8 of us got invited to this reunion? DUH DUH DUH

*"Come on you guys, let's parteeee." Ugh.

*How the hell did the dude get the lockers in there?

*These are some truly shitty actors.

*They can't even wink convincingly.

*This dude has to be retarded to fall for the funnel-in the pants trick. That was also in a movie, by the way, I just can't place it.

*Why would they be going to their reunion in May/April anyway?

*Woah, the intestine shot is actually pretty cool.

*The Marty drawing on the wall is pretty amazing. It would be funny if it turned out that all the non-asshole kids actually really liked Marty and immortalized him forever, turning him into a folk hero.

*The part with the dude holding up the turned-on tractor is actually pretty cool. Oh, shit, the killer cut his arms! Deadsy!!!

*The plan to just put your backs to the wall and wait for Marty is actually a pretty good one. I'm sure they'll follow it perfectly.

*April Fool's Day ends at noon?

*Now they've just got to stay awake, like NOES (1984).

*They slept all the way till 11AM and Marty didn't just kill them in their sleep?

*The Jester mask makes a cool silhouette.

*Is the blonde girl drowning in shit? Or is that tar?

*Seeing the jester mask outside in a letterman's jacket is pretty cool. Especially in that extreme worm's eye view.

*The Final Girl thinks it's a good idea to return to the scene of the crime?

*Hey, I just discovered something else that grosses me out: old toilet bowls overflowing with blood (and presumably shit).

*Marty's a very theatrical killer, like Michael Myers. He must have gotten pretty strong to be able to pose those corpses.

*Well, guess not because three hits with a bat did it.

*Hey, now the lights are going out down the hall My Bloody Valentine (1981) style.

*Oh, snap, she just killed Skip!!!

*This is one weirdly designed school. Lots of windows and weird hallways.

*Why would she throw the spear Marty's been using to try and kill her down at him? He only feel one story.

*Uh oh, looks like Marty doesn't care what time April Fool's Day ends.

*It is kind of cool to see Marty trip and not do the slasher teleport, though I'm sure there are elements of that somewhere.

*Did she just go back to the scene of the crime or is this a different bathroom than the bloody toilet?

*Adult Marty looks pretty damn creepy.

*Woah, he's being haunted by his victims, that's pretty cool. I can't think of another movie I've seen like that.

*Was it a god damned dream?!

*Woah! Syringe to the eye! Doesn't make up for the lame "it's all a dream" ending though. I call bullshit.
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The Legion Looks Lovely

Anyone else see this jam piece that the WildStorm gang did for Paul Levitz? They posted it on Gelatometti for the rest of us to ogle.



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Halloween Scene: Smoke and Mirrors (1997)

One of my personal reasons for analog books as opposed to digital ones is that analog ones can go on a journey with me. Sure you can take your Kindle with you, but are you really going to remember where you left off on that digital book you started reading a couples years ago? Will you even have the same Kindle in four years so you can pick it back up and finish where you left off? For me the answer is no, even though it would be better on the Earth as far as the paper use goes. Anyway, the point I'm getting at is that Neil Gaiman's short story collection Smoke And Mirrors and I have been on our fair share of journeys. I originally bought this book back in September of 2005 when I was waiting in the Detroit airport for my flight to JFK to go in and interview for Wizard. I had been out of college for about four or five months and was wondering what the hell I was going to do with an English degree aside from heading back to the place I interned at (Wizard). I had been working days at Barry's Bagel Place as a deli worker and spending my nights playing Halo 3 and drinking Sweet Tart Whiskey at the Chad Chad Toth house. Good times, but I felt kind of like a failure. So, when I got word that Wizard was hiring, I jumped at the chance to interview.

It wasn't the first time I flew on my own, but it was the first time I flew on my own into JFK and then drove myself in a rental car to Nyack where I stayed in a hotel by myself and went in the next day for a job interview. It was also the first time I made a real effort to read a short story book. At this point I had read two books by Gaiman (Good Omens and Neverwhere) and none of his comics. It was a new edition of the stands as the original came out in 1997 and this one in September 2005 because it had a preview of Anansi Boys (a book sitting in my giant pile of books to read along with his next short story collection Fragile Things and a couple of his kids story books).

My interview process went really well and I felt pretty good about it. I also happened to be there for staff writer Rich Ho's last day and I got to go out for his last day lunch and then met everyone down in Nyack for his last day. That doesn't mean I wasn't incredibly nervous the night before. Aside from meeting Rickey and the gang down at Olive's the night before, I also picked up a small bottle of Jack and a 2 liter of Dr. Pepper to take the edge off. I felt like a total weirdo reading Neil Gaiman and drinking Jack and DP in a shoddy motel room, but it also kind of made me feel like a legit writer. Like, I bet Hemingway did the same thing. He loved DP, right?

Anyway, I got the job and was there for about 4 or 5 years. And, oddly enough, it took me about that long to finally finish this book. I was reading The Yiddish Policeman's Union by Michael Chabon for a few days when I realized it was October and decided to try and finish a horror-ish book for Halloween Scene. I can't honestly say I remember the short stories I read four years ago or even a year ago, but I read from "We Can Get Them For You Wholesale" to "Snow, Glass, Apple" in the last month or so and I really enjoyed them. I'll be honest, I didn't necessarily get the poems (they're not really my thing), but I did force myself to read through them.

It's fascinating reading these short stories and what interested Gaiman and how he turned them into stories. "We Can Get Them For You Wholesale" takes assassination and turns it into a business like any other, "Murder Mysteries" takes a look at the very first murder in the city of Angels and "Snow, Glass, Apple" flips the script on the Snow White story, plus it has vampires! If you've never read any Gaiman but are interested in what the hype is about, this is a good place to start. Like I mentioned above, I only read Gaiman's books for a long time. I think I even read American Gods before getting all the way through Sandman (both of which I highly recommend). I can't remember all of the other comic projects of Gaiman's I've read, but I haven't been all that into them. Luckily, I started off with his books which have always been of a high quality. I think, next to Elmore Leonard, Roald Dahl, RL Stine, Christopher Pike, Dr. Suess and whoever wrote the Arthur the Aardvark books, he's one of my most-read authors and I've been happy with everything I've read (book-wise, I couldn't get into 1602).

So, this book definitely has sentimental value and will probably never leave my shelf. It's been from wherever it was made, shipped to Detroit, flew to New York, flew back to Detroit, then drove to Ohio and then drove back from Ohio through Pennsylvania into New York again. It might have even made a few more road trips that I'm not thinking about (I think I took it to Ryan's wedding in Connecticut last weekend). Anyway, it's a fun story to tell and, even better, it's a good book. Wouldn't it suck if I had all these memories tied up in a book I ended up hating? Whew. Seriously though, Gaiman's books are amazing and they're not all "Goth craziness" like people might think thanks to the more vocal Sandman fans (ankhs for everyone!). Check it out!

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Halloween Scene: Dragon Wars (2007)

There's a lot up in the air about this movie. I'm not sure if it's actually a horror movie, but since it's got monsters and killings and a King Kong reference, I'll keep it in. The title of the movie also seems to be up in the air. IMDb and Wikipedia are both pretty stubborn and claim that the movie is called D-Wars even though all of the posters I saw say Dragon Wars, so I'm going with Dragon Wars.

The movie is Korean, though it stars American actors like Robert Forster, Jason Behr and Craig Robinson and it really is just a conglomeration of all kinds of craziness. I remember back when the trailers for this movie started hitting I was really excited because it looked like a big, dumb movie with tons of dragons and monsters fighting it out in some big city. Some of the dragons even had rocket launchers somehow! How could you go wrong? Well, by making an incredibly confusing back story involving a reincarnated woman whose soul will transform giant snakes into dragons, a reincarnated dude who's supposed to protect that girl, Robert Forster as a shape shifter of some kind, a lot of monsters who aren't dragons and an army of evil dudes. Wait what happened to just watching dragons fight? This turned out to be a pretty long one, so hit the jump!

Like I said, it's a confusing movie. At one point you've got a giant snake attacking cities, eating zoo animals and assuredly killing people (either on purpose or accident) and then you have another giant snake brought out by the evil army. So which one is supposed to be the "evil" dragon?

Speaking of the dragons/snakes I'm not a big fan of the special effects in the movie. I read a lot of reviews where they were praised, but I'm wondering if they were watching it on a digital projector because it didn't really look so great on my TV. I wish they would have done a few practical effects with dragon puppets or animatronics just to give them some actual weight. There's also some pretty crummy compositing of the various layers of special effects, specifically one time late in the movie when the leader of the evil army is standing on some kind of altar in front of a storming city. The dude is definitely real, but I'm not sure about the rest. It looks like the stage might be, but the background just looks terrible. I'm no expert when it comes to this stuff, but I am starting to notice these kinds of things.

Also, the movie is way too freaking loud. I had the remote in my hand during the whole movie so it wouldn't wake Em up.

But, even with all those complaints and the standard Godzilla-complaints (ie, there's not enough monsters fighting and too many scenes of people talking) I would highly recommend watching this movie...with a group of friends and a giant case of beer from BJ's. There's a good amount of marital arts action, even though you're probably not looking for it and it's more Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon than Police Story (I rarely like or watch period martial arts movies anymore, they just bore me with their sameness). I also love watching Craig Robinson in a somewhat serious role/movie. He still brings some humor to the overly complicated story and there's a scene where he steals the sword from one of the evil army guys and tries to take him out. It's awesome.

Any, even though I'm not a huge fan of the effects, the scenes of the monsters fighting in the city are rad. I wish the movie was 74 minutes long with 52 of them in the city. Cloverfield proved you could do a monster movie focusing on people and keep it tight and not focusing on people talking about the monsters in a bunker somewhere. I know that's not the kid of movie the director wanted to tell, but that's what I was expecting thanks to the marketing, go figure. The funny thing about this movie called Dragon Wars is that there aren't even any dragons fighting. There's only one actual dragon (with antlers) in the whole movie, in fact. There's some pterodactyl-like things flying around the city and what looks like those beasts that fought on Jar Jar's planet in the Star Wars prequels. The cannons even looked pretty similar. But, whatever, it was cool.

So, yes, the movie is overcomplicated and maybe kinda sorta dumb, but I absolutely want to watch this movie with 10 people after drinking 5 Coors Lights and a Sparx. Watching it alone was a little dull because Milo doesn't really react to my jokes anymore. Stupid cat.
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Superheroes And Sluts Dance To Thriller

Just saw this on TV and thought it was pretty funny. You've got everyone from girl Robin to Captain America and Harry Potter to Jack Sparrow. I'm sure MJ was thinking of this as his legacy.

EDIT: So, apparently the video I copied from the Party City website just plays automatically. I've seen what can happen to a website that automatically plays pointless videos in the top right-hand corner, so just follow this link if you're still interested.

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This Is The Grossest Thing Of All Time: Placenta Bear

There's no way for me to explain this without admitting that I've been watching a lot of Bravo lately. I'm weirdly addicted to Flipping Out. After watching the latest (?) episode, this thing called Watch What Happens Live which is kind of like The Soup, but if The Soup really liked all the crappy shows on E and sat down with them. All of which is to say that the host just mentioned this thing called a Placenta Teddy Bear. Apparently you can buy a kit that shows you how to keep your placenta and make your own. It's super gross, so I'm holding the image for after the jump. You've been warned.



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SNL Phone Commerical

No, it's not a parody, it's an actual commercial for the T-Mobile MyTouch 3G phone. I'm sure you're all as sick of this freaking song as I am, but it's still cool to see Chevy Chase, Molly Shannon, Dana Carvey and Darrell Hammond "together."

I doubt it will ever happen, but how cool would it be to get a season of SNL All-Stars? Keep a smaller regular crew and send an open invitation to all the cast members and writers (or the ones still in good standing with Lorne Michaels) and maybe see who can show up for a week or better yet a full season. I'm sure there are all kinds of problems I'm not thinking of that this would cause, but as a gigantic SNL fan, I would love it and I bet it would be a pretty huge ratings-getter.

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Ice Pirates Is Crazy

I know I've been only half paying attention to a lot of movies lately. It's because I like to have something on in the background while I'm looking for jobs online or trying to scrounge of freelance. Also, I may or may not be addicted to my new laptop. Either way, it takes a lot for a movie to really hold my attention and while Ice Pirates (1984) may not have done it for the entire movie, there were some ridiculously funny parts that I've been able to find clips of on YouTube so you can share in the enjoyment. As you can probably tell from the poster, the movie is a Star Wars/sci-fi spoof that's a little more serious than Space Truckers and Star Slammer. They live in a universe where water is at a premium, hence the name "ice pirates." It also stars Robert Urich, Anjelica Huston, Bruce Vilanch, John Carradine and Ron Perlman.

First off, I present to you "space herpes."

This one may not be safe for work, but you can't go wrong with a robot 70s style pimp.

Admittedly, this is the end of the movie and a huge spoiler, but you're treated to time being sped up, which results in everyone getting super old and moving in sped up cuts thanks to a time bomb. It's pretty ridiculous in a good way.

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Halloween Scene: The Vanguard (2008)

I had no idea what The Vanguard was when I decided to turn it on on NetBox. I just saw a thumbnail of the poster here and thought "Sure, the dude's holding bloody hatchets, I'm in." For whatever reason I thought it would be something along the lines of Outlander (aka Aliens vs. Vikings). It turns out that it's actually a zombie movie. Great right? Well...

Not so much. And it's not even really the movie's fault. I will say that it's fairly slow, introduces people early on that don't show up until much further into the movie and has random flashbacks of a Vanishing Point nature. The two things that made me stop paying attention to this movie are that 1. it seems like the filmmakers got a fairly good amount of money from a rich uncle and wanted to make a movie with tons of scenes of the star looking like a zombie killing badass and 2. it is WAY too similar to a zombie comic idea I've been kicking around in my head for a long time. It was weird. Like they got a look into my notebooks (I'm dusting them for fingerprints as I type).

To the first point, I have to say that I might have done the exact same thing given money and the time to make my own zombie movie. In fact I have the time now, so maybe I'll start working on some homegrown zombie special effects. Anyway, there are just too many scenes like the one in the trailer where he's running and then stops in the middle of the field and waits for the zombies to sneak up on him FROM BEHIND so he can hatchet the shit out of them. It doesn't make sense unless you're just trying to say "I'm a badass."

To the second point, it was just kind of frustrating because there were a lot of basic elements that the movie and my idea that no one has ever seen. So it's already out there, would anyone want my comic? Ah well, can't get too caught up in that. So, if anyone wants a comic that's like Vanguard but way more awesome, drop me a line and I'll pitch you on it.

So, with those two things in mind, I had to step away for a while (read: the middle) and came back for the very end which brought back some of those characters from the beginning and I didn't get it (obviously that's on me). With that in mind, I guess this isn't the best review, but if you can handle a lot of posturing and some impressive zombie effects and a look at a zombie apocalypse years after it actually happened and not right after, then you should check this out. Heck, it's only 89 minutes and you can check it out on NetBox, so you won't be out time or money if you check it out. And, since you probably (hopefully) don't have notebooks full of similar material, you'll probably dig it.

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Casting Internets

I wasn't planning on doing one of these bad boys today, but I just came across a bunch of things that struck my fancy.

First off, I just saw Jim and Pam get married on The Office and it was pretty awesome. I have to go check out that YouTube now I guess. Either way, I loved the Maid of the Mist marriage. I'm just a big softy that way.


Hey there's gonna be a new Deathlok series! He's one of those characters that I don't know too much about, but I've always loved the design. Marvel.com's story doesn't get too much into Charlie Huston's plot for the Lan Medina-drawn mini, but the art looks rad!


Meanwhile, Rickey's been doing a horror movie sketch-a-day for the month of October over at Rowdy Schoolyard. I like them all, but so far Tom Atkins here is my favorite. I keep telling him he needs to do a big jam piece. If you agree, head over and leave some feedback.


I don't really know what this Hippy Kong figure is or how to get one, but I saw it on ToyArk and totally want one.

Sci-Fi Wire runs down the scariest clowns from TV and movies. It's pretty standard, but including Killer Klowns From Outer Space gets a big W from me.

SuperPunch had this video of the Flash video game that will never be. It makes me sad because I want to play this game big time now.

Variety thinks 30 Rock is the next Murphy Brown in that it will be very timely at the time, but not hold up in the long run. Thoughts? I'm thinking it's bunk, but, to be fair, I also don't know whether MB holds up because I haven't seen it since it was on, but I liked it then. Thoughts?
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How The Mighty Have Fallen

Wow. So I saw this over at io9 today. I guess this is NSFW, but the effects are...not great, but still bloody.

According to the story this is for a movie Corey Feldman is doing with Joe Dante as a Netflix original. Now, part of me wants to think that this is Dante's way of trying to bring an awesome new horror movie to fans in a new way. Because, otherwise, this is the director who did The Howling, Piranha, Gremlins 1 and 2, Innerspace, The 'burbs, Matinee and several episodes of Eerie Indiana working on a low budget movie with a mostly-washed up actor and a pretty lame viral video. Let's hope it's the former, not the latter.

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You Just Got Served By Elmo

YEAH BOOOOOYEE

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Ad It Up: Legends of the Dark Knight Action Figures

This is one of those every-other-page ads. You get the top one first on the right hand, then turn it and BLAMMO, you've got these crazy-detailed figures of Joker, Penguin and Man-Bat staring back at you. I was a huge fan of the Legends of the Dark Knight line from Kenner in the late 90s along with this line's predecessor which was an Elseworlds-inspired line called Legends of Batman and featured pirate Batman and even Az-Bats. What I liked about LOTDK was that the figures were bigger and they were a lot more detailed. I have Scarecrow and Bane in my collection, which aren't pictured in the ad, and I remember being really excited about them. That's still my favorite Scarecrow figure of all time. I almost picked up the Joker one too. I believe he looks so buff because his suit actually explodes off of his body. These ads were scanned out of 1998's Major Bummer #12.

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Rom Spaceknight #2

Inspired by the uber-talented folks over at Covered, I figured I'd try my hand at re-drawing a cover. I dipped into The Box and pulled out Rom Spaceknight #2 from January 1980 and decided to give it a go because it wasn't super complicated. The original cover is by Al Milgrom (I'm assuming it's all, there's no credits along with the rest of the credits and the word "Milgrom" is written just above the UPC).


I thought about going ahead and coloring the whole thing, but I didn't want to screw it up. Maybe I'll print it out and color it or something. Anyway, as you can see, my lazer blasts are off from the original and the lazer hits because I kind of forgot about how that would work when I went through and drew over the pencils with a Sharpie. It was a lot of fun going through and doing the "inking" with the Sharpie. Oh, also, my cat spilled a beer on my notebook during the penciling stages. I was working on it, then went to do something in the other room to come back to see my beer tipped over and my notebook wet. Luckily there wasn't too much damage, nothing was lost and I was able to finish the project.
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Halloween Scene: Critters (1986)

Gah, damn you Ruins for taking up so many of the last few hours of today, you almost made me miss my self-imposed schedule of posting about something horror every day (the Star Wars Death Troopers thing doesn't count). Okay, so as I mentioned a few weeks ago, I scored three Critters VHS tapes at a flea market. I'm pretty sure I've never seen Critters, even as a kid, but I remember being amazed by the box art of the tape at the video store. Anyway, the box art is much cooler than the movie. I guess it's aimed at a younger audience and I'm not young anymore, so it didn't really keep my attention.

See, the plot of the movie is that these aliens called Krites escape a space prison (maybe it's the same one from Star Slammer. They land on Earth and then these shapeshifting bounty hunters follow to take them back. It takes a little while to get going and then it's not all that thrilling, like I said, aimed at kids and featuring a proto-Forrest Gump who swears he knew the aliens were coming. I hear he's the star of the next few movies. It wasn't a great movie, but it was good enough for me to at least want to watch the next three movies in the series, though I can't promise I'll still be saying that after another movie or two.

One thing I did want to mention is that I was surprised at how good the movie looks. They don't cheap-out on the space prison or the space ship. I mean, they're not mind-blowing, but they're pretty good. Then the actual Krites look cool. I mean, they're Tribbles with mouths, but they're still pretty scary Tribbles with mouths. The gore was light, which again is understandable because this is like a kid's movie. Gremlins super-light basically. I think I would ad Critters 1 and 2 movie posters to my man cave in a heartbeat. Also, this was definitely not my mystery Mini Monster movie. Damn, gotta keep looking.

Whew, made it!

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The Ruins Rundown

Holy crap you guys, what a crazy freaking episode. I can't believe how this went down.
SPOILERS AHOY!!!

How could the Champions think it's a good idea to throw Wes AND Ev in and get them mad? Wes tried to make amends this episode and they spit right in his face. Gah. If Wes and Ev had come back and were super pissed, they would have thrown the missions like mad. Later on when Wes is talking to Even it's nuts that he didn't think that Ev wouldn't get pissed that she has to go into the Ruins against her best friend on the challenge. Maybe he was lying or maybe he really is a dummy. I think he was lying though, because he's surprisingly devious.

The challenge itself was fairly interesting, though it didn't seem to be that hard. Swinging on a rope didn't offer up challenges to anyone but Shauvon. I think I could even do this. Maybe. I dunno, I'd try at least. With Shauvon gone the Challengers should have a better shot at winning. Later when she came in and was telling everyone what happened, it was pretty boring.

Oh man, there's so many things I want to talk about. Let's get my thoughts organized. Alright, here we go. After getting the news, watching Wes and Ev go off is pretty fantastic, especially the part where Wes kind of lunges at Johnny and Johnny flinches like you just showed a little girl a spider and THEN Johnny says that he'd kick Wes's ass. Amazing. Em hates Johnny more than anyone on this show and now I find myself hating Suzy which surprises the crap out of me. This is the "Timmy's In My Winny" girl! Gah!!! What have the challenges done to you Suzy?!

Real quick, Johnny said this "Any bridges that were burned before have been torched." I think he was talking about Wes who had actually tried to repair those bridges with everyone.

So, the Ruins challenge comes down to Wes vs. Nick and Ev vs. KellyAnne. And it's this crazy thing with ropes tied to each player's wrists and ankles. It looked like a fight between Spider-Man and Venom where they just got stuck. It even started raining, which was pretty epic. Nick didn't stand a chance, but I got really nervous when I saw Wes fall in the very first round. See, I was out of the room for a second and so I didn't know it was the best out of five. Seriously, my heart was racing.

The Ev/KellyAnne match-up was crazy. Ev was going pretty strong, wearing KA down. And then they show her standing there looking like a crazy from a horror movie just playing with KA. And then she throws it! Why not just jump down three times and be done with it instead of screwing with her like that? Even Kenny thought that was funky. You can tell this challenge is toying with my emotions because I'm hating Suzy and agreeing with Kenny. Yeesh.

So that pretty much wraps up my thoughts on the main episode. I'm sitting here and watching the post show or whatever they call it and there's a few other fun points. I love Wes's rant about Kenny being a former fat kid who got skinny and handsome. Reminds me of this dude I used to work with back home. Like he's the same person but not from Jersey. Speaking of Kenny, they showed a clip from the normal challenge where Kenny said something to Dunbar and Dunbar went after Kenny. You can tell there's a lot going on in an episode when they can't even fit all the fights into an episode.
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Lego Bionic Commando Video

Remember back in the old days when you would have a favorite game that you didn't own? You'd rent it every weekend your parents would allow or go over to your friend's house and play as much as you could. For me, one of those games was Bionic Commando. I just loved the grapple and gun shooting aspect of the game. Man that was fun back in the day. I haven't checked out the 3D-ified version or the brand new game, but I would definitely play the above Lego version. You know, if it was real. Maybe I should get some Legos and work on a project like this. (via Kotaku)

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What If Star Wars Was A Horror Movie?

Oh man, don't even get me started on how much I'd like to turn Star Wars into a horror movie gang. Well, Del Rey actually is with their book called Death Troopers that finds a group of Storm Troopers on a derelict Star Destroyer that has some kind of virus creating the so called Death Troopers. Zombies in Star Wars? Sold. To get folks excited, Del Rey asked for fan created videos to promote the game. This one's my favorite, but it's not gonna win because, well, it's kinda crappy, but damn it's fun.

You can check the rest of the videos here. (via Topless Robot)
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The Brutal Legends Commercial Is Awesome

Holy crap you guys, I am STOKED for Brutal Legend to come out next week. Now, I won't be able to buy it thanks to not having any spare cash, BUT that won't stop me from enjoying this rad commercial that EA put out. They've got a BL theme song and everything that sounds like it's straight out of the 80s. Good stuff.

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Another Quick Note

Sooo, sometimes things just don't work out. I mentioned an upcoming mystery project last week that ended up falling through. Fear not, I'll be turning my attentions back to the blog and trying to find a full time gig and hopefully some creative writing as well.

Holla!

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Halloween Scene: Trick 'r Treat (2008)

You guys, I've been waiting to see Trick 'r Treat for what seems like three years now. Back in the day when Rickey was the Hollywood editor at Wizard I remember him excitedly telling me about TrT, saying it was kind of like Nashville or Go with several stories intersecting in unexpected ways, but with horror. It's a concept I'd never heard of before. But then there were all kinds of problems. It was supposed to be in theaters in 2007 (as you can see from the poster) and it wasn't. Then it was supposedly pushed back to come out in theaters in 2008 and it didn't. Well, it finally came out today and it was worth the wait!

Not only does the film follow several groups of characters, it also jumps around in time, starting with the end of the night and hopping around from there. I really don't want to drop any specific spoilers, but I will say that I appreciate the different kinds of stories you get here. There's a monster, a supernatural slasher, ghosts and ghouls and regular old killers. For horror fans who like their stories completely explained by the end of the film, this isn't really the movie for you. And I really like that aspect of it. Some things are explained, like the image of the kids on the bus in the ultra creepy costumes, but others are completely unexplained. Unless I missed something, which is entirely possible.


There's a lot going on in this movie and I would gladly give it another watch in the near future or even add it to my collection, but I'd feel kinda bad sitting on this Netflix DVD when I know so many other fans out there are looking to check it out. Two more things before I leave you to watch this flick yourself. One, Sam, the little burlapped dude in the poster above, is probably my favorite slasher of the past 10 years. And, two, be warned, a LOT of kids get killed in this movie. I'm not talking about 24-year-old teenagers, actual kids around 14 years old and younger. I wasn't really bothered by it, but was surprised. I wonder if that had something to do with the movie getting moved back. Hopefully, it will do really REALLY well on DVD and we might get another horror movie out of Michael Dougherty.

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Halloween Scene: Lost Boys Reign Of The Frogs (2008)

I already admitted to not really paying attention to Lost Boys: The Tribe, so I figured I should give this miniseries that came out from WildStorm to bridge the gap between the two movies a shot. And you know what? I liked it.

It's written by Hans Rodionoff and drawn by Joel Gomez. I'm not familiar with Rodionoff, but I've seen Gomez's art on Gelatometti, the WildStorm artist blog (one of my favorite artist blogs out there) and have liked what I've seen. So there's two stories going on here. There's a wraparound story with a kid who I'm guessing was in the sequel, but I can't remember, going to Edgar Frog (Corey Feldman) in 2007 asking to be trained in the art of killing vampires. The other story flashes back to 1990 after the events of the first movie and features all your favorite characters, minus Michael and Star who are running around somewhere. I won't get into the details too much, but it was fun seeing the familiar faces again, even if they don't necessarily look like the actors. You also get to find out some interesting things about Grandpa and vampires in general. Oh, plus, politician vampires, a house full of hot Goth vamp chicks and even your first look at the Widow Johnson.

Now, I can see how this book might upset some fans as there are some pretty huge continuity shake-ups and they even kinda sorta got to me, but you know what? It's just a comic. I love them as much as anyone, but this comic isn't going to take away from my enjoyment of the movie next time I watch it. All in all, good stuff that's worth a read if you're a fan of the movie.

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Casting Internets

Wow. A lot went down this weekend. Agent_M himself got married as you probably know because everyone on the internet is friends with Ryan (as we call him in the real world). Ben posted this great pic of a bunch of us former Wizardites up at Cool Kids Table. I'll post mine as soon as I figure out why my phone and new laptop aren't syncing up.

In other good-news-for-my-buddies news, Sean will be joining the Robot 6 crew this week, so keep your eyes peeled for that.

One nice thing about being home all day is that I get to watch a lot of TV and movies (probably way too much, no, definitely way too much). Last week SyFy (bleck) did a Twilight Zone marathon which may or may not have inspired the i09 crew to do this 6 Important Life Lessons From The Twilight Zone list. I completely agree with all 6 points.

Newsarama did a feature on Mike Mignola where he dropped this very good bit of news for fans of his work:

“I will continue to co-write BPRD with John Arcudi and continue writing Hellboy for Duncan Fegredo, but besides that my main thing is going back to drawing stories myself,” said the career cartoonist. And the first project I want to do is some stories that will act as companion pieces to The Amazing Screw-On Head. Not with the character itself, but set in that kind of world. The plan is to put out a collection of three stories under the banner Amazing Screw-On Head and Other Curious Objects.”

There's no such thing as too much Mignola.

As I've mentioned before here and here, I'm a big fan of Kelley Jones' artwork so the news from The Source about him and Doug Moench working on a new Batman book called The Unseen. Can't wait!


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Halloween Scene: Maniac Cop 2 (1990)

I liked the first Maniac Cop flick because it mixed actors I love with a fairly interesting concept. This sequel was enjoyable for a whole other reason: it's completely insane. Not only are our heroes from the first movie killed off, but the guy from The Profiler (Robert Davi) takes their place trying to find out what the deal with the maniac cop is.

In this installment, MC's pretty focused on hurting the good guys and victims and helping the bad guys (to an extent). There's a whole section of the movie where he actually befriends a serial killer. And it's not just a simple team-up, MC goes to his crib, they hang out, MC has a flashback to how he was killed and MC even speaks. There's a lot else going on but it's not really that interesting.

Seeing as how this is the sequel, the ante is upped as far as kills and effects (now, whether they're good or not is up to the viewer). Good or bad we see MC's not-so-pretty face a lot more. He also sports a billy club that hides a knife. I think it's only used once and I have no idea where he got it (he was last scene crashing into a lake or river or something). Also where does he keep getting clean policeman's uniforms?

Like I said, it's not a GOOD movie, but it's fun enough and I can't recommend a better slasher to check out so early in October. And it's on NetBox, so you can just queue it up and check it out. I'll probably be finishing out the trilogy this week.

OH. I almost forgot because I watched this a few weeks back actually, but MC2 has something else to offer fans of the weird: an end credits rap that is completely 1990 it's absolutely worth a listen.

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Halloween Scene: Art Adams' Creature Features (1996)

I seriously hope you guys are familiar with Art Adams. He's one of those phenomenal artists with a dazzlingly unique style that unfortunately doesn't do much more than covers. He's probably one of my top 10 favorite artists, but I've probably only read a handful of comics he's drawn. So, when I found out about this book from Dark Horse which combines a Creature From The Black Lagoon one-shot, a Godzilla one-shot, two short Monkeyman & O'Brien strips (I still need to read those comics) and then a 3-page Godzilla strip set to the words of Alan Moore, who wrote a song about Godzilla. I had no idea that existed and it wasn't all too thrilling, but I will never pass up a Moore/Adams collaboration.

I've never seen The Creature From The Black Lagoon, so I have no idea if this Steve Moncuse-written story completely follows the movie script or if it's an original story. I'm guessing it's an adaptation, but I like I said I don't know. Usually, I would be bummed out that all the details of a movie were ruined by a comic, BUT, I don't really mind in this case because I guarantee that Adams' version of the monsters and characters looks way cooler than the movie. The story was a bit long, but I love looking at anything Adams draws, even panels that are just headshots.

The Godzilla one-shot is a lot of fun because it involves four people in a high-tech anti-Godzilla attack squad AND a giant Japanese demon fighting Godzilla. Adams co-wrote it with Randy Stradley and the two created a really well-paced, fun action movie in comic book form. I wish more Godzilla movies were actually like this: focusing less on the boring humans (these humans are interested and, like I said, are high-tech so they can actually dent Godzilla's hide) and, of course, offering up a strong, dangerous and unique enemy for G-unit to fight. Good stuff.

The other smaller stories are interesting enough and really just make me want to read Monkeyman and O'Brien. It's rare for me to get a trade solely for the art. I think the only other trade that's on my shelf that I got based on the artist is the Marvel Visionaries: Jim Steranko book, which is amazing. Creature Features will be joining it on my shelf because, like the Steranko Visionaries, the amazing art is paired with rad stories. Plus, I love Godzilla.

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Alias The Final Season

I wouldn't have thought that after my reviews of the first and second, then the third seasons of Alias that the series finale would leave me feeling kinda bummed out (though, if you read my review the the fourth season, it might not seem too out there).

This season saw the real and fake deaths of plenty of characters, the return of former regular cast members, the birth of Sydney and Vaughn's baby, characters switching sides and the introduction of two new characters. One played by Rachel Nichols (Scarlett in the G.I. Joe movie, which I still haven't seen) and Balthazar Getty from the very first (and most watched) David Lynch movie I ever saw Lost Highway. Their characters offer the writers to tread a lot of the same beaten paths we've come to expect from the show, but, like the previous season, it doesn't really bother me and I grow to like the new characters all the while growing more and more fond of the existing ones.

This was a tough series finale because one of my favorite characters dies, but they do it saving the world, so it makes me feel a little bit better. I also like the very end of the series which jumps several years into the future and shows their daughter a little more grown up. There's an interesting little tease there that I wonder if anyone has ever thought about picking up. Maybe Abrams didn't get it out of his system which is why he went on to do Mission: Impossible 3 and his new upcoming spy show on NBC. We shall see.

So, in the end, I'm not sure if I can recommend watching Alias all the way through. Left to my own devices, I don't know if I would have gotten past the first two seasons (interestingly, the ones that everyone says are brilliant), but now, 5 seasons later I find myself liking the characters and feeling like I might even miss them. But I guess you might miss anyone who's spent so many hours in your house with you, even if it was just on a TV screen.

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The Box: Batman vs Predator II #4 & Defenders #119

For the full rundown of what The Box is all about, check this out. This week's picks (I went with two because I had some spare time and felt like trying my luck again) are Batman vs. Predator II #4 and The Defenders #119. One thing I forgot to mention before is that, as you can clearly see in the picture, there are actually two boxes ("The Boxes" just doesn't have the same kind of ring). Also the box that's completely full of comics is full of Marvel, the less full one is mostly DC and Dark Horse with some incredibly random stuff thrown in (there's even a copy of Spawn #1).

Alright, enough explaining of things. Let's get into the comic reviews. First up is BVPII #4 from 1994 which was written by Doug Moench and drawn by Paul Gulacy. I'm 90% sure I haven't read this series before. I have read--and own--the original and more Predator comics than I care to admit (or am able to remember), but I'm still thinking this one wasn't on the list. I'm glad I snagged the last issue and not a random one in the middle (I think there's a few more in the box, but I'm not sure). Anyway, you pretty much get the full story right here even though there's nothing like a flashback to catch newbies up. Batman's got a contract out on him while one Predator is attacking Gotham. Meanwhile, another Predator is there to stop the bad one. I'm not sure what makes him bad, as Predators all love to hunt humans. Unlike the first volume there's some government dudes in weird costumes and Huntress is involved. It's not a great comic, but the last bunch of pages were a lot of fun as the poo hits the fan and we get our final battle. Maybe I'll check the trade out online.

And now we have The Defenders #119 by Steven Grant and Sal Buscema which has a cover date of May 1983. Having only ever read one Defenders comic (the first issue of Erik Larsen's series), I was glad to find out that, even though the issue number was so high, this was actually a "never told story" that takes places between issues #68 and #69. That might not seem like much help, but, apparently at this time, the team still consisted of the main members I'm vaguely familiar with: Namor, Dr. Strange, Hulk, Hellcat, Valkyrie and Nighthawk (who apparently died right before this issue came out). The flashback shows us a tale of Yandroth taking mental control of most of the Defenders only to have them fight the ones who aren't controlled in the end. When I first looked at the cover it was just a glance and I read the text "MARVEL SUPER-HEROES BATTLE SIDE BY SIDE AGAINST...EACH OTHER." I thought "Awesome, big huge fight issue. Then I looked at it a little closer and saw that Namor, Clea and Dr. Strange were on the opposing side. That's not really that interesting of a stand-off and unfortunately the issue mimicked those sentiments. I guess the real point of this story is that Nighthawk's nurse Luann Bloom was actually a robot, spying on him for a shadowy organization yet to be revealed. All of which would make a lot more sense if I knew anything about the Defenders. Oh well, it was a fun enough issue to read and did make me curious about checking out other Defenders comics.
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Halloween Scene: Lost Boys The Tribe (2008)

There are two things I've gotta say right off the bat when it comes to this straight-to-DVD, 20-years-too-late sequel to Lost Boys. First, as I've mentioned before, Lost Boys isn't the kind of movie I saw as a kid and have a long-time love for. I saw it for the first time just a few years ago and appreciate it on a fun level, but I'm still not so sure it's such a great movie. 2. I was NOT paying attention to this movie while it was playing on NetBox. I was reading or on the computer or something because, well, everyone said it was a dumb movie, so who cares?

Anyway, here are my brief thoughts that I wrote down while kindasorta watching:

*Gotta love the Tom Savini cameo in the beginning. That guy's awesome.

*The sax guy is back!

*Listening to Feldman do his terrible Dirty Harry impression as an older dude is just kinda weird and sad.

*"Hey, a lot of good information can be learned from reading comic books" - paraphrase cause I drank too much wine.

*Haha, "Warriors, come out and plaaaay."

*I'm pretty sure if I became a vampire, I would take up x-treme sports too.

*I'm not a fan of the Lost Boys mythology which says you're a partial vampire, but can get rid of it or whatever after just drinking a cup of blood.

*This movie's not so bad when you're not a huge LB fan and not really paying much attention.

*The "we're vampires" beach bonfire moment is kinda cool and awesomely bloody.

*I like how the vamps puke blood Red Lantern-style after getting impaled.

*Everything Feldman says is a ridiculous pun or sounds like it should be one.

*Vampire + drill = awesome. Why is his face melting? who cares it looks cool.

Well there you have it. I don't know if I even saw the whole thing. At one point it was just over. I didn't see the cameos by the other Frog Brother or Corey Haim, but I wasn't about to rewind or stop what I was doing.

Did anyone else watch The Two Coreys? The episode where Feldman breaks it to Haim that there's already been talk of a sequel, yet no one contacted Haim is freaking heartbreaking. Seriously, you can see the man's heart break. Here's the clip:

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Casting Internets

Whoops, meant to publish this yesterday.

Dean over at Springfield Punx has started up another week of Simpson-esque versions of the characters from Lost. I love these theme weeks he does. Here's today's entry, Claire. Check SP this week for all his updates.


Also, did you know that Ohio is the only state in the Union that has an offical rock song? That's what I learned from Music Legends Revealed #22 today. Now, don't get me wrong, I learned in 7th grade that "Hang On Sloopy" was the official rock song of my fair state, BUT I just assumed every state had one. So take that Washington, Michigan, New York, New Jersey and Texas with your rich musical heritage! HA!



I just discovered a site called Holy Taco with a post called 25 Awesome Stained Glass Windows. Most look like Photoshop work--good work, but fakes nonetheless--except for this Batman one. Check out the post for the full list which includes Gene Simmons, Kermit The Frog and Optimus Prime.

I pretty much completely agree with Tom Bondurant's Grump Old Fan post called "The new Justice League, working against the clock." It's nice to read another JLA fan
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Halloween Scene: Batman Haunted Gotham (2000)

Welcome to October folks! I'm just barely making it in under the wire here, but my goal is to have a Halloween Scene (or at least one) up every day of October so here we go. Today's installment is on a trade I picked up called Batman: Haunted Gotham. Originally printed as four 48 page issues, this Doug Moench-written and Kelley Jones-drawn mini-series takes a look at an alternate reality in which Gotham is literally haunted. It's kind of like Bette Noire from Fallen Angel.

Anyway, in this version of the Batman story, Bruce looses his parents, who happen to be part of a group trying to keep the dark forces at bay, as an adult after they've trained him his whole life to take up the mantle of the bat as Gotham's protector. What I really like about this story--essentially an Elseworlds, but I'm not sure if it was every officially labeled as such--is that not every relationship from regular Batman continuity is the same regardless of the universe. Yes Batman is aided by Alfred and Gordon and there's a Catwoman-type character, but there's enough differences and new characters that things don't feel rote.

Another thing that helps keep these stories interesting is Jones' awesome art. I've talked about liking him before when I wrote about Batman comics last October, and my opinions haven't changed. No one draws a spooky Batman like Jones and Moench's story offers him plenty of other horror themes to try his hand at: werewolf assassins, demons, ghosts, talking skeletons, an even more Gothic Gotham, and Jones just runs with it.

I will say that this is one of the few trades I've read and realized that it would have probably read better in single issues (or at least in fewer settings). The first two issues show as Bruce becoming Batman and facing off against a Frankenstein-like Joker (another interesting alteration of the mythos), then the second issue goes off on a tangent about a snake god and then with the last issue we're back to the story elements from the first two issues. It's a bit strange that a four issues series would have time to take a tangent like that, but I guess it's better to expand the world than stretch the story for no creative reason.

All in all I dug this book. It's not scary by any means, but it's a fun read if you take your time.
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