The Box: Warlock And The Infinity Watch #21-24

It was bound to happen. It's not like I could have 100% luck liking these comics I picked at random and let me tell you, these four issues of Warlock And The Infinity Watch from 1993 and 1994 written by Jim Starlin and drawn by Tom Grindberg (21, 23, 24) and Angel Medina (22) are just bad. It doesn't help that 21 and 22 are Infinity Crusade tie-ins while 23 and 24 are part of the four title, 13 issue Blood and Thunder Thor crossover and I have very little working knowledge of Warlock and his team aside from what I've read in the current Guardians of the Galaxy and Infinity Gauntlet. Oh, also, I hate Grindberg's art. He's like a less anatomically correct and more sloppy Mike Mignola. And I love Mignola, which got me thinking about how fine the line between art I like and art I don't is. I wasn't going to even bother scanning one of the pages, but since these covers don't seem to be online anywhere and I was scanning anyway, I figured "what the hell." You can see the last two covers with your own eyes. I have no idea how the inker and colorist figured out what belonged to which character.


But enough about that. I like Jim Starlin space comics and these were not good Jim Starlin space comics. They don't even approach something like Infinity Gauntlet or Dreadstar (a book I highly recommend checking out). It did go a little away from his usual "space government fighting against space church" thing he seems to go to a lot, but I really had no idea what was going on in these issues. Again, it's hard to really judge a series of comics that have no running story between them, zero character development (Drax fights Thor...a lot), very little team interaction and absolutely no room for newbies like myself to gain a foothold. Blech. Maybe they're better in the context of their related stories, but as of now, I'm not putting the effort in. Hopefully the other WATIW comics in the box are a lot better because there are quite a few of them (their numbers come in second to the nearly complete run of Power Man and Iron Fist I keep hoping I don't pull for this column (did you like the new logo?).



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Halloween Scene: Drag Me To Hell (2009)

Man, I was really disappointed with Drag Me To Hell. I don't know what I was expecting. I haven't liked a Sam Raimi movie since the first Spider-Man (I HATE Spider-Man 2) and, to be honest, I'm not a huge fan of his overall. Don't get me wrong, I like the Evil Dead movies enough, but I'm not super obsessed with them (example: I have Evil Dead 1 and 2 on VHS, but haven't gotten them for DVD yet). I guess I got excited when everyone was giving Drag Me To Hell so much high praise. But, overall, I just found this movie kind of boring, not super original and not very scary. I was more grossed out from certain scenes (pretty much anytime something of the old lady's went into Alison Lohman's mouth or vice versa), but I was definitely expecting more in the scares department.

I also felt like there were too many logic gaps to just accept. Why does she use a key to get into her car? No one does that anymore. It might sound like a nitpick, but it's not. To me, it's the filmmakers jumping over logic to use an old horror trope (I can't get my key in the door!). It's 2009 and her car is newer than my hunk of junk so she definitely should have keyless entry. Another thing that bothered me was how quickly she murdered her own cat. I know it's to show how far she's being pushed, displaying her mounting insanity, BUT it's not like the ghosts were still attacking her. She could have run outside and found an animal that wasn't the pet she loved to murder. It was a story decision that made me continue to dislike Lohman's character. I'm not sure what it was about her, but I was bored with her and didn't really care when she was getting thrown around Nightmare On Elm Street-style. It didn't help that after an intense scene, Lohman is sitting in her kitchen eating ice cream and crying. That just seemed like such a stereotypical and boring scene that I couldn't get into it and kind of stopped caring. Oh, she also says things like "I'll shove it down her god damned throat, I'm gonna get some." That's terrible, awful stuff. And don't get me started on how absolutely careful I would be if I had a talisman that would or wouldn't keep me from being haunted.

Hey, also, trains make a LOT of noise. Like a lot. You can hear them coming from way off. I can understand not hearing a bus (even though they also make a lot of noise), but this is a train. Everything about them is loud.

This review ended up being a lot more harsh than I thought it would be when I was thinking about it last night, but, having slept on it, I don't remember a lot of positives from it. I liked Justin Long in a serious role. I liked her boss at the bank, especially when he tells Lohman to stop spewing blood all over the bank and then keeps asking if he got any in his mouth. Let's see...the effects were good at times. I didn't like the CGI stuff, but the practical bodily fluids being spewed and spilled all looked good. The fight in the car between Lohman and the old lady was pretty great. I liked how the old woman got several staples to the face. It reminded me of that Simpsons scene where Bart's going back-to-school shopping and he shoots the staples at the cardboard cutout's face. I can't find the damn quote, but some of you know what I mean.

I talked to Megan about DMTH last night and she said that seeing it in a crowded theater really helped and I can see that. If I had seen this pre-hype with a bunch of people, things might be different, but I'm not so sure. I think Raimi's gotten incredibly lazy (this kind of felt like Evil Dead with a girl and fewer zombies and action) and don't necessarily care about his movies anymore. Do you really have to say anything after Spider-Man 3? You shouldn't have to, but they're working on the fourth right now, so what do I know? I wish I could have loved this movie, I really do, but the one thing I kept thinking through its entire run time was, how did this get a wide release and Trick r Treat didn't?

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Look, James At Big Apple Con (I Think)

I think that's my buddy James. Crazy! (via The Beat)

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How Did I Miss NYC's Real Spider-Man?

I saw this over on Collider. It's one of those tuk-tuk drivers in the city who dresses as Spider-Man and does all kinds of cool flippies. They made fun of him, but I think it's rad. I'd gladly take a ride from this guy (and promptly blow chunks afterwards). I think it would be worth it. Especially if you happen to run into Doc Ock or the Lizard while going from one place to another.

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Confessions Of A Danger-ish Mind: Project Runway

Okay, I do watch Project Runway. I can honestly say that it's because Em likes it, but I did sit there last night and watch the rest of the episode after she went to bed and Drag Me To Hell was waiting to be played in my DVD player. So, yeah, I guess I like it. It's definitely not the most embarrassing TV show I like to watch, but more on those in future installments. As it turns out, one of the forerunners of the show is this girl/blonde amazon named Althea Harper who is from Dayton, Ohio. She's won one challenge and finished in the high group three times and has never been in the low group (it's crazy how up to date the Project Runway Wiki page is you guys). So, yes, I watch Project Runway and yes, Althea is the horse I'm backing in this race I was right about neck tattoo guy from a couple season back and even saw him being interviewed outside of the Wizard building one day. See, it's in the same building where the Project Runway people used to stay when the show was still filmed in NYC. So, feel free to put your money on my girl, I've got the magic touch when it comes to these things. To be honest, though, Emerson was my pick up until last week when he get bounced, but secretly Althea was my pick. Seriously. I promise. Anyway, I'm super glad Shirin got bounced, she was crazy annoying, always bitching all the time.

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Hey Kid, Your Mom Hated You

One of the things that worries me about this world of online tell-alls is that people divulge too much information. I believe that some things should remain private and worry about kids growing up now who have their entire lives on Facebook, Twitter and Blogspot archives. Well, apparently this isn't just a problem for young people. Has anyone else seen this HSBC Soap Box commercial? The second person who gets up (starting at 5 seconds and going to 10) says "I didn't want to be a mom. It took me three months to love him. I can't imagine my life without him." That's some cold shit right? Why would ever say that? I mean out loud. Ever. Not just to a commercial camera crew. Which she did. Your kid WILL see that. Especially if he somehow becomes such a UnitedMonkee fan that he's driven to read all my archives. Sometimes those things we think inside our heads should stay in there.

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Season Premiere: 30 Rock

It's no secret that I love 30 Rock. Damn, that's a good show and tonight it was finally back! I read a few reviews that said the season premiere was kind of lame, but I had a great time with this episode. Yes, it stuck with a lot of the same things we've seen before: Jack being a right wing tough guy, Tracey being, well, crazy, Kenneth being naive and innocent, and Jenna being a dunce. But isn't that what we love about the show? In addition to the wicked sharp writing.

But even considering the familiar territory of the characters, I still laughed like crazy at Tracey outside of 30 Rock trying to make friends with people. My buddy Zach works there and I was really hoping to see him in the background, alas it wasn't meant to be. I also really liked Jenna's song about off season tennis, the video at the very end and how it kicked into Jay Leno's show. I wonder how many people got the joke? And even though Kenneth played the sweet innocent mountain boy (did anyone understand his crazy mountain person speak?), I liked how he played hard ball, did the Alec Baldwin voice and stuck it to Jack at the very end, even though it didn't get very good results. I'm hoping that Jack promotes Kenneth to some high level position at some point.

I was hoping that we'd get to see some of Liz and Pete's search for new performers mining some of Tina Fey's SNL experience, but maybe next episode. It was funny to see the long-missing Josh quit, fail to do the table flip (a long running inside joke amongst those of us who used to work at Wizard) and get the kind of meta commentary on how he had been missing last season (did anyone else notice when he showed up in a commercial during 30 Rock? That was pretty funny).

A few other quick notes. Tracey's name for Nobody's wife "Susan Walters-hyphen-nobody" is one word away from my mom's last name. That's just weird. Maybe it's because we took a picture in front of the big Christmas tree outside 30 Rock last Christmas Eve. Next quick thought, Steve Buscemi looks really, REALLY creepy with a blonde lady-wig on. Seriously. They used a lot of what's not in this episode for the promos and I can't wait to see Liz's encounter with the dude in the bookstore window, the return of Will Arnett and him talking to Obama's daughters. Needless to say I'm jazzed for the rest of the season.

For whatever it's worth, I also really enjoyed the rest of the Thursday NBC comedy line-up. Good stuff all around, especially how funny Chevy Chase was on Community. Also, did anyone else think that The Office was testing the waters in case Jim and Pam got their own show? Just saying.

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Halloween Scene: Sleepy Hollow (1999)

As I mentioned back in my post about Tim Burton's awesomeness Sleepy Hollow is one of the two big Tim Burton movies I hadn't seen. Well, considering it's Halloween season, I figured now would be the time to finally give it a whirl. And, I liked it, but didn't really love it.

Back in 1999 when this movie came out I was in high school and I think I remember my friends going to see Sleepy Hollow. I was probably working or something (that happened a lot), but unlike Halloween H20 I'm kind of glad I saw it now instead of back then. The reason for that is that a lot of this movie takes place kind of near where I live now (though, thank God, on the other side of the Hudson) and that's pretty cool.

In case I'm not the only one who waited 10 years to watch this Tim Burton directed flick, it's about Ichabod Crane (Johnny Depp) a forensic examiner from New York City who's sent "upstate" (New Yorkers WOULD think that two hours north of them would be upstate, regardless of the fact that there's another four or five hours of state) to investigate a series of murders in a place called Sleepy Hollow. It's the headless horseman (played sometimes by Christopher Walken) terrorizing the small town and Crane has to solve the case and get past his obsession with facts, science and reality to see if there's a real supernatural occurrence going on here. My huge high school crush Christina Ricci's in it too. And the dad from Beetlejuice.

I'm not really sure what it was about Sleepy Hollow that didn't really draw me in. It might be that I've got a lot of stuff on my mind lately. It might be that I'm a little bored with the casting of Johnny Depp as a weirdo. It might also be that I had a hard time figuring out whether the horseman was actually a supernatural being or not. I get that it's a big part of the story, Crane's struggle between science and belief (he's a one man Jack and Locke from Lost), but it kind of felt like it went too long without nailing it down one way or the other. But I did like how, in the end, it was kind of a mix of the two.

So yeah, for whatever reason the combination of my youthful crush, one of my favorite directors and over a dozen decapitations couldn't draw me in. I'm going to guess that it's just a state-of-mind thing. I don't really have any expectations for Jack-O and my mind is all over the place lately. I'll definitely have to give this one another look in the future.

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NYSeen: Steve Martin Statue

It's been over a month since I've been a regular in New York City, but I just had to share this picture of a wall sculpture in Penn Station. It wasn't on our usual route, so I didn't see it for a while, but when I did, I stopped dead in my tracks (something I hate when other people do while walking anywhere in the city), pointed like David Brent points at the Bart Simpson doll and just looked between it and Rickey and Ben. The resemblance is crazy, right? It looks just like Steve Martin! Anyone know the story of this thing?

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Ad It Up: DC Cosmic Cards

Bang! My first real foray into the history of the DCU didn't come from a comic (like The History of the DC Universe), but from trading cards. I was way into collecting baseball, basketball and football cards before getting into comics, but there was a time where I was buying both (ah, to have such simple worries as "Should I buy a pack of cards or a comic?"). During that time I bought a ton of comic based cards in packs and sets. Cosmic Cards were one of those sets and they even stayed in my possession after the great trading card purge of one of our family garage sales (don't worry, I sold them along with my original Simpons figures willingly, it's not like my parents cleaned out my collection or anything). This ad comes from Brave And The Bold Present Green Arrow, The Question & The Butcher #5 from 1992.

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Live Blogging Never Back Down

Sometimes you need a pallet cleanser. I'm not even talking about a quality pallet cleanser because, as you can tell from some of my recent posts. But, between the horror movies and the stuff I've barely been paying attention to, I wanted to watch something kinda dumb and Never Back Down fit the bill perfectly. The basic idea is that Jake moves from Iowa to Florida where he's attending a rich kid school. And, what do rich kids do at parties aside from watching girls make out in a hot tub and drink? Why they fight of course. Jake has some anger issues because his dad got drunk one night and insisted on driving he and Jake home only to crash and die. I can almost guarantee you've seen this movie before. It's a typical sports or dance-fight movie where the reprehensible villain makes mincemeat out of the hero early on so the hero trains to get better and wreck shop. Uh, I guess that might be a spoiler, but it really shouldn't be. Anyway, away we go after the jump with the live blogging. Oh, also, any reference to "blondie" is the male villain, not the girl. If you read it as the girl I come off like a real jerk.

*Why are they moving? Is it the middle of the school year? Where were they living?

*Jake's hair is terrible.

*Hey that's the version of the Iliad I have.

*Ah, they moved because his bro got a tennis scholarship to...where? He's like 10.

*Ooh, a gay best friend and a bitch.

*"Tired of living out of boxes Jake? Why don't you try unpacking?" - Mom.

*Good use of tech - videos being watched online and on phones.

*The idea of a school where fighting = football is amazingly ridiculous to me.

*I bet this is going to be a fighting party.

*Huh, he doesn't drink. Oh, duh, it's cause his pops was a drunk.

*I think there's the same number of people at this party as went to my school.

*Yup, fight party.

*Who would have thought the blonde dude would be a douche?

*Dude, the title of the movie is Never Back Down, so, you know, stop backing down.

*Oh shit, blondie mentioned Jake's dad. That's like calling McFly a chicken.

*Come on dude!

*Is blondie played by a descendant of Billy Zabka?

*This is turning into Cool Hand Luke.

*It's hilarious that everyone at the party is into this. It's not just like a handful of weirdoes, EVERYONE wants to see blood. Maybe this is how high schools are now. Reason number 5,394 why I'm scared of having kids.

**So, the curly haired kid (Max) acts like Jake's friend, then tries to embarrass him at the party, then helps him home. Weird relationship.

*Jake reminds me of Tom Cruise a bit.

*Djimon just invoked the title!

*The pretty girl is smart? Wha?! That can't happen!

*The dude playing Jake (Sean Faris) used to be on Undressed!

*Huh, the girl in this was Seth Rogen's high school girlfriend in Pineapple Express (Amber Heard).

*Training montage!

*So she actually is blondie's girlfriend?

*I hope Jake not only kicks blondie's ass but somehow takes all of his parents' money. That would be awesome.

*"The only time you're happy is when you're hurting people." - Girl to blondie

*Haha, blondie thinks that the girl being with him "made her." Yeah, like no one would have noticed the super hot blonde girl. Well maybe not, there do seem to be a lot of them in this rich Florida high school.

*He dodged a car in the middle of a fight and kept fighting! Djimon won't be happy. He's not supposed to be fighting outside the gym.

*You can get arrested for this shit right? Is it smart to post video of your friend beating the shit out of some dudes?

*Woah, that wake boarding spinning thing looks awesome.

*Ew, they're fighting in a bathroom. Gross.

*Haha, the site's called realfights4real.com. Redundant much? I tried and the link isn't live.

*He's back in with Djimon, that means we're getting another training montage.

*I wonder if they ever hit the camera when they were chucking cinder blocks.

*Jake and the girl's weird play fighting is creeping me out.

*Haha, blondie's dad just wants to be one of the gang! I hope terrible things happen to him.

*Don't fall for it Max, it's a trap!

*You're all accessories to a crime, blondie's friends. It's not okay to stand there while someone beats the shit out of a guy.

*Damn, Max looks like a zombie.

*Good use of Kanye's terrible song "Stronger."

*Yeah, he put his dad's shirt on!

*Oh snap, it's the night of the Beatdown too! Fate has smiled on us.

*No eye gouges, crotch shots or biting.

*"Woah, kick to the FACE!" - announcer. Thanks for the spot on commentary.

*Yech, blondie's entry song is Soulja Boy.

*Oh, the tricked me, the enemies aren't fighting just yet (I was thinking that was a little early, we haven't even gotten a full on fighting montage yet...here it is).

*It'd be kind funny if blondie didn't even make it to fight Jake. Kind of anti climactic.

*Dak-Ho looks like Rufio.

*Haha, blondie got disqualified, just like I thought.

*Now they'll have to take it to the streets.

*There's a lot of similarities between this movie and Step Up 2 The Streets.

*Haha, what a fickle audience, the abandoned the fight inside for the one outside. They're even doing the "circle the cars for light thing."

*Damn, blondie keeps going for those busted ribs. Not cool.

*Haha, my NetBox just kicked resolution up to full for the last 10 minutes.

*Oh man, blondie, you're giving him time to think about events from the movie, he's gonna tear you up now!

*That kick to the face was amazing. You can almost smell the brain injury on blondie.

*Blondie respects him now!

*Djimon's gonna go see his dad.

*Max has a girl who likes him.

*Everything's gonna be...okay.
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The Ruins Rundown

After last week's episode tonight's episode feels a little boring. Don't get me wrong, I still look forward to Wednesday nights at 10PM more than a lot of other TV timeslots, but this episodes hardly had any fighting or drunken and disorderly conduct.

Did anyone else think the opening on the boat was strange? Did I miss someone explained how they got on the boat? Usually on these challenges they're stuck in fairly remote places and anytime they leave it's for a challenge. And when they do get a night or day off there's usually a quick explanation. I can't believe I'm actually wishing a reality show would spoon feed me information more than it already is. Anyway, they should have just chillaxed and let Paula climb that mast, it could have taken care of a lot of their problems.

I liked seeing Wes and Evan talking like actual adults for a little while. Of course, it didn't last, but what are you going to do? There's still some tension between Wes and his team. I have no idea whether I believe Wes's claims that he's going to give all his winnings to charity (assuming he wins and I think he will). But, hey, that's how the game is played.


I thought both of the challenges were pretty weird today. Walking on your teammates and pouring water in a bucket? I understand that there have been a lot of these games between the various challenges, Survivor and whatever other challenge shows are out there, but these seemed kinda weak. It was nice to see the Challengers actually pull off a W, but a huge disappointment that they lost both of their players in the Ruins (Brianna and Adam). The Challengers are looking super weak. I'd like to think that some of the games further down the line might actually favor a smaller team, but we'll see. I've hoped for upsets a lot in challenges past and have wound up disappointed.

I wonder if Cyrus really thinks the dudes on his team have his back. He was sitting there, saying how much Wes has screwed up, but Wes could have been one of his sole allies on that team. See, if Wes starts his own alliance with Cyrus and picks up anyone else who doesn't fall under the Johnny/Kenny/Evan and whoever girls are under their sweaty wings, Wes would have a strong unit. I mean, they can't really think that there's room for all of them right? It's Kenny and Johnny and Evan, those dudes would sell their grandmas out to win one of these things. I was hoping that Adam would have called Kenny in. I want to see him actually prove himself this time around and not just sit on Evan's shoulders the whole game.

On a completely different note, how crazy is it that Dunbar hasn't gotten into a fight yet? He had quite the temper on his last challenge and his season of Real World. Same with Veronica and Katie, those are two little firecrackers who haven't stirred up any trouble yet (though it looks like Katie goes off next week, should be fun). Thank goodness next week will feature what looks like a healthy dose of broom smacking and lady-shouting.

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Super Spank!

Inspired by Bob Mitchell In The 21st Century's It's Funny Panel Friday installments, I couldn't resist but post this panel I stumbled across in World's Finest #201 from 1971.


Every time Superman sheds a tear in a comic, it will remind me of this panel.

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Halloween Scene: Prom Night (2008), Sleepwalkers ( 1992) & Jack-O (1995)

I watch a lot of movies, you guys. By this time of the week I've seen all the Bravo and VH1 reruns I'm interested in, so I turn on the NetBox and just look around. A lot of times these movies just turn into background noise, something to have on while I work on freelance or hunt for jobs online. The ones that capture my attention turn into Halloween Scene posts (unless it was the only thing I watched, then it'll get a haphazard review at best). Over the past few days I've watched three horror movies that were just kinda eh: the 2008 Prom Night remake, Sleepwalkers, a Stephen King werewolf script, and Jack-O, a lame riff on Pumpkinhead. None of these movies really deserve their own full-on review, so I figured I would just put them all here in one quickie roundup.

Prom Night wasn't a great movie to begin with. I've only seen it once and it was with Rickey. We were kinda drunk and had rented a crappy VHS copy from the Dollar Video down the street from our place. I think the reason we both liked the movie at the end was because the crappiness of the tape offered a lot of atmosphere to the movie. I don't remember a whole lot about the original and, I'll be honest, I don't remember a lot of the remake. I know there was a killer there during prom and I think I have a crush on Brittany Snow. A girl I knew in high school who did the musicals with me ended up as a background dancer on her old TV show American Dreams (that's what I heard at least, I never actually saw it after the first few episodes). So yeah, this is a pretty lame review of two movies I don't remember, but I guess that says more about the movies than it does me (I hope).

Sleepwalkers is a movie I definitely remember from the video store. I remember that weird pink and purple cover with the floating eyes staring back at me. I didn't even realize it was on my NetBox queue, but when I saw it I turned it right on. It's a Stephen King script that's based on an unpublished short story and it's a whole ball of weirdness. There's ALL kinds of incest you guys. Like tons. And that's just between the two sleepwalkers, which are kind of like werecats who can turn things invisible and make a car look like a different car. It's a pretty lame movie, on the real. The werecat effects look pretty good as do the special effects when the cars go invisible, but overall the story's just strange. Oh, plus, you know, lots of incest. There's also the matter that these werecats, who look like regular people most of the time, get their true nature revealed anytime they cross in front of a mirror. And they're afraid of cats. And yeah, Milo likes the idea of cats saving the day at the end of the movie (especially after seeing so many dead kitties hanging from a tree in the very beginning), but as a human I wasn't too interested. And that can be said about most of the movie actually.

Here's a good way to tell if you're dealing with a crappy movie. When you try and find a posted image that's 269x400 and 110X150 is the best you can find. That means the internet barely cares about Jack-O and honestly, neither should you. Like I said above, it's like Pumpkinhead, but if the kid was the hero, Pumpkinhead had an actual pumpkin for a head and the kid hero looked like my friend Randy did when we were kids. There's some other additions like the ridiculously right wing neighbors, the slutty neighbors (different ones) and...a haunted house that the parents put on in the garage. It's funny that I just re-read the Trick r Treat review over at HMAD today because BC mentions how well TrT builds the atmosphere of Halloween. Well, this movies fails completely. It seems like any other day except for the constant mention of the haunted garage for charity. Please don't watch this movie, it has no redeeming qualities.

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Casting Internets

Have I mentioned how much I like Covered recently? Just check out Anthony Vukojevich's version of Neal Adams' DC 100 Page Super Spectacular #6. Awesome stuff.

Over on Enemy of Peanuts, Jim pays tribute to the greatest mustache in comics Dum Dum Dugan while also trying to raise money for the fight against prostate and testicular cancer. If you've got some, give some!

I've expressed my excitement for Sylvester Stallone's The Expendables before and am nearly distraught that some people have seen the leaked trailer and now it's gone. Bummer.

Collider has this new poster for the next and last season of Lost. Can't wait!


These Mini Mutts look awesome. (via Vinyl Pulse)


Weezer has apparently made a deal with iTunes to offer their new record Raditude along with a bunch of extras and exclusives for a $20 subscription. Doesn't sound like a bad deal if you're curious what one of the most frustrating bands of all time has in store. I'm undecided. (via PopCandy)

A lot of people are upset about Marge Simpson being in Playboy. I don't care one way or the other, but I do appreciate Holy Taco's series of Rejected Playboy Cartoon Cover Girls. Mrs. Beakley here is my favorite.


Also, sometimes things are just plain old funny.

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Dirty Candles

I was rooting around my Drop Box, taking stock of what images I have in there that haven't made it up on the blog yet and came across these hilarious candles we saw when we went to Oktoberfest.




You can buy your own jars of Mmm...Nice Melons and Smell My Nuts at Our Own Candle Company's site. From what I remember, they did smell pretty good. You know, if you want your house to smell like entendre (double or otherwise).

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Jimmy Fallon Slow Jams His Way Into My Unemployed Heart

Last night I tried to break this cycle I have of staying up late and getting up later by going to bed when Em did. But it didn't take, so I came out to the living room, finished my trade and turned on Jimmy Fallon and got treated to this song. It felt like he was singing right to me!



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Halloween Scene: The Exterminators (2006-2008)

The Exterminators is one of those comics that came out of nowhere, smacked me in the face and demanded my attention. I was working at Wizard at the time and was always looking for a new comic to check out and Exterminators was it for me. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but if you ever read anything in Wizard about this book, I probably wrote it. I think it was Book Of The Month at some point, something I had to fight for. Exterminators is one of my favorite Vertigo comics and probably their best series in a while. I was bummed to hear it got canceled and had unfortunately gotten behind in the issues, so I slowly collected the trades to read all at once at some later date. Well, that later date started last week and carried over to today when I finished the fifth volume. This is another long one, so hit the jump for the full review.

I should probably explain the comic a bit more than just saying it's awesome. The basic premise is that this dude, our hero, Henry James has just gotten out of jail and is working at his new step father's exterminator business Bug-Bee-Gone. Meanwhile, there's something weird going on with Draxx, the latest in bug-killing chemicals. And by weird I mean that it mutates certain kinds of pests so they no longer have the genetic restraints for things like size and ability to procreate. All of which leads to an all out war between man and bugs by the end of the series.

The series (which ran for 30 issues total) reminded me a lot of Preacher. You've got a mysterious yet chivalrous hero with his fair share of lady problems (his new girlfriend Page is a literary stripper) dropped into a supernatural problem he knows nothing about, but is willing to fight the good fight. There's also plenty of corrupt, terrible people around him, though he has a solid group of confidants he grows to rely on. I don't make the comparison to say that Oliver cribbed from Garth Ennis' book, I just say that to get you interested if you're not already. In fact, there's a physical injury that Henry suffers at the end that Jesse Custer also survived that I probably would have changed if I was Oliver, but it's not that big of a deal.

I want to elaborate a bit on the place of the supernatural in Exterminators. I wasn't expecting it because the book seems so firmly planted in the real world what with them killing all manner of creatures from bugs to animals. But, having read it all in a short period of time, it all makes sense and fits. It's kind of like an Indiana Jones movie where you're solidly in the real world for most of it and then you've got thousand year old Grail knights or guys ripping hearts out through chests. In this case, the supernatural elements stem from Egyptology. I have no idea whether the gods mentioned in the comic are real (I'm guessing so), but everything seemed really well put together and it was ingenious of Oliver to combine these elements with modern day exterminating, big business, a take on environmentalism, Cambodian history and the role a bug called the Mayan hisser had in the downfall of the Mayan civilization (again, something I don't know about, but totally bought in the context of the story). I think it's Oliver's ability to weave these real world elements in with the supernatural ones that makes them make sense within the story.

But a story can't just be told with creative details, the characters also have to be there. Now, unfortunately, towards the end of the book we lose some of the characters we were introduced to. I'm guessing that Oliver had more story to tell and had to sacrifice some characters like Henry's mom and her step son in favor of actually finishing the overall arc of the book. Regardless, the characters that are around are very intriguing. Henry's a lot of fun to read, especially as you learn more about his past. Then you've got his bug brother Stretch, a Buddhist with a mean streak and a cowboy hat. Nils, Henry's stepfather, is of the old school. He's been in the pest killing biz for years, in fact inheriting the business from his own father who has an interesting past. AJ's a scumball beyond the pale. Saltoh is a man of science with a very dark past. The list really could go on and on. I can't think of a single character that wasn't at least reasonably fleshed out.

And, considering I'm talking about a comic book here, you can't ignore the artwork. For my money, no one draws a creepier bug than Tony Moore, who can be considered the regular artist on the book since he pencilled 17 of the 30 issues. The other artists do a good job keeping up Moore's aesthetic while using their own styles, but none of them quite hit the absolute creepiness of the swarms Moore did. I really wish he could have stuck around for the full series, but he had Fear Agent to do, a book I've never read, but have heard is very similar to Exterminators (but in space). I know that a few people from back in the day at Wizard couldn't stomach reading Exterminators because of how gross the bugs look (we used to read new comics at lunch all the time, which didn't help).

And for anyone wondering whether this book should really fall into the horror category, the book is basically about monsters trying to destroy a city and then humanity as a whole. Oh, plus it's gross at times. Let's just say that bugs aren't the only things that get annihilated.

So, I can't recommend a self-contained book more than Exterminators. It really is the full package as far as I'm concerned. And, unlike some books that got canceled before their time, it definitely has an ending. Yes, some elements don't get addressed before the very end (What was the deal with Nils and his son? Who gave Saloth the Draxx information in Vegas?), but it feels complete enough for me. Word on the street (ie Wikipedia) is that Exterminators might be making it's way to television thanks to Showtime, which is interesting because it started as a TV pitch). My fingers are crossed. Plus, you've gotta love a book that uses a quote you wrote on the cover (#10, it reads "With more intriguing plot twists than 'Lost', THE EXTERMINATORS seems poised for a long, mind-blowing run." - WIZARD Magazine). That's my first (and I believe only) cover pull quote!

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Casting Internets

Hey gang, things have been a bit slow around here today because I'm working on some freelance and a longer Halloween Scene based on Simon Oliver's Exterminators, so look for that before midnight. In the meantime, I found some fun links today.

My buddy Jim McCann has a new comic coming out called The Return Of The Dapper Men with artist Janet Lee from Archaia. If you're friends with Jim on Facebook this is old news as he's been posting the crap out of it lately :) (via CBR)


In other comics news, James Robinson will be returning to Starman with Starman #81, part of a skip week event that ties into Blackest Night and resurrects canceled books. According to this story on CBR, Robinson says Jack Knight won't be in it, but look for the supporting characters both dead and alive to make appearances. Here's hoping they can get Tony Harris or Peter Snejbjerg to work on the art.

And finally, in science news that may become apocryphal, there's a theory that the Large Hadron Collider is having so many problems because the future is trying to stop scientists from looking at one of the fundamental particles of existence because we're not supposed to see it. Crazy right? And you thought mini black holes were the only potential problems with this thing. (via io9)

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Wonderful World of Oz

I saw this post on io9 about the five remaining munchkins from Wizard of Oz getting together for a quick interview and it got me thinking back to my days as a chorus member in my high school musicals. The reason I even tried out my sophomore year of high school was because they were doing Wizard Of Oz and I wanted to be a flying monkey (this monkey thing goes back quite a ways). Anyway, we had a new director named Michael Kastner and he wanted to make a splash by getting a surviving munchkin to come and hang out, take pictures and sign autographs. Well, when I saw the io9 post I checked the video and unfortunately Clarence Swensen is no longer with us, but don't feel too bad for him, he lived until this year to the ripe old age of 91. Impressive. Anyway, here's my picture with Clarence. By my count, I was 16 when this picture was taken and it's fairly embarrassing, but what the hell? I swear, I didn't wear makeup on a regular basis, it was after one of the performances. I wish I didn't look like a weirdo serial killer in it, sorry Clarence.


In a strange twist of fate I was actually just talking about this photo with Kevin in the context that I have two photos with famous people, this one and one with John Landis and myself. I'll try and dig that one up too.

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Greatest Fan Film Of All Time?

I know this is almost a year old, but has anyone else seen this highly ambitious fan film that mixes just about every cartoon and comic universe you can imagine into a stew of awesomeness? Here it is in its entirety.

The Greatest Fan Film of All Time
Uploaded by Bullcrank. - Watch feature films and entire TV shows.

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Halloween Scene: The Batman Vs. Dracula (2005)

Did anyone else watch The Batman? It was a pretty rad cartoon that got off to a slow start in my opinion. What bogged the show down, for me, was that the first season or so just introduced all of the various Batman villains, something I've seen in several incarnations over my many years of being a Batfan. It eventually went on to feature Batgirl and Robin, team up the various villains with each other and even bring in the Justice League. It wasn't up to the same caliber as Batman: The Animated Series or as fun as Batman: Brave and the Bold, but it was a fun little series from the episodes I saw (it lasted 5 seasons, one of which included an awesome rendition of Dark Knight Returns). The figures they put out were super cool too.

What first grabbed my attention about the series though was this straight-to-DVD movie which pitted Bats against everyone's favorite vampire. I had heard it was pretty good, but never got around to watching it until last night as I played a little Russian roulette with my NetBox queue and landed on or near it. And it was pretty freakin rad. You never know with something like this how vampy it will get. It is a WB cartoon afterall and these are the guys who edited the crap out of the Batman Beyond: The Return Of The Joker movie (another one I need to check out, which is also on NetBox).

So, no, you don't get full-on scenes of Batman staking vampires, but you do see vamp versions of The Joker and Vicky Vale and Batman fighting off the undead with batarangs. Batman of course develops a cure for vampirism that he injects into every single vampire in a fight scene straight out of the Arkham Asylum game (but, you know, three years early).

Lack of blood and guts aside, this is a super fun movie. You know how a lot of vampire (especially Dracula movies, like 1979's Dracula) are really boring in the beginning? Well, with this one, you start with an Akrham breakout, action with Joker and Penguin (Penguin goes on to take the Renfield role), Dracula hunting victims, a party at Wayne Manor that Drac attends, Batman fighting Drac, Batman fighting VampJoker and the big final battle. The fight scenes are rad, on the level of JLU and it's especially fun seeing Batman actually losing his first fight with Dracula. It's even more fun to see the vamp-fighting gear that he and Alfred develop to level the playing field and give Batman the final victory. Speaking of the final fight, it's a hard fought one for Batman and Alfred that includes a pretty great "smoke clearing reveal" scene and Batman getting a pretty fantastic one-liner in before, well, before the end. I don't want to spoil it as it's pretty cool.

All in all, it's probably one of the better Dracula movies I've seen (at least one of the more action-packed ones)and it gave me something I didn't think I'd ever seen in animated form: Batman fighting a vampire Joker. Plus, it's an easy 83 minute watch and it's on instant watch, what more do you need?

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Live Blogging The Big Bang Theory

Just finsihed watching tonight's Big Bang Theory and had another great time. There wasn't a ton of geekiness this episode, but it was still a fun one that changed the status quo to some extent and offered up some great lines. I'm guessing "I Swear To Cow" will be on a T-shirt within the week (if not day).

*Haha, they're watching Gremlins!


*Goonies, Gremlins and Young Sherlock Holmes by Chris Columbus to celebrate Columbus Day.

*Turbriskefil sounds like the worst thing ever.

*Raj has been screwing up Wikipedia pages.

*"Aw beefaroni I'll miss you most of all." - Raj


*"I swear to cow!" - Raj

*Sheldon's subordinate male action movie hero explanation is amazing.

*I like seeing Sheldon in his office.

*Bazinga! Whew, I was actually thinking that Sheldon just crossed the line into total assholeness.

*Haha, Penny wants to make out on Sheldon's spot. Weird.

*I like them mixing up the pairs this season. Sheldon and Raj, Penny and Leonard...Howard.

*I'm still not clear on what their jobs are. They're full-on scientists who work at a college, but I don't think they're profs. I didn't know you could do that.

*Working Montage!!!

*"I couldn't help but hear your big finish, bravo." - Howard.

*I can totally do the finger trick and Sheldon can't. Ha!

*I hope that this leads Raj and Sheldon to dress as a superhero duo for Halloween.


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Rad How I Met Your Mother Music Video

I'm guessing that many of my fellow HIMYM fans who were sitting near a computer after they mentioned www.itwasthebestnightever.com immediately typed it in to find this awesome page. I was glad to see that it wasn't just a replay of the video they showed on the episode, but a whole new video with Jason Segel singing while Nuno Bettencourt played guitar and the other cast members hanging out. If you dug the episode or Segel's singing in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, definitely watch the video below.

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Cool NES Stuff On Etsy

So, there's this website called Etsy that offers people a place to sell all kinds of craft stuff. I didn't really know about it before Em started her own store on there called wicked knits where you can buy your own Golden Snitch or Brain Slug from Futurama.



Anyway, now that I'm done trying to line my pockets, I wanted to call out some rad old school NES stuff I saw on there. First this super-cool Mario quilt by GameInspired, I never thought about how well pixelated characters lend themselves to quilting because, well, I don't think about quilting ever, but maybe I'll start working on some stuff now that, you know, I don't have anything going on.


There's also this rad NES controller pendant, though the post from SarahLynneDesigns says that it's a custom job. I'm guessing you can request the same design if you wanted to bling yourself up a bit.


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Are The New Snuggie Commercials Worse Than The Old One?

The short answer is yes. Not only can you now get your Snuggie in leopard and zebra print, but now your dog can get one too. That's right, your fur-covered dog can now get his or her own blanket with sleeves. You know, four of them. I've seen this commercial a few times and, while trying to find it on YouTube, stumbled across ever more.

Here's the one I keep seeing, notice the booty bump, roof raising and old man without a Snuggie at the football game. All he has is a stupid jacket, HA!:

Here's the one that asks what we've all been asking "When will you make designer Snuggies?" The answer is now.

This one specifically targets people who want their pets to look like assholes too:

And here's another fantastic voice over parody:

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Planet Hulk DVD

PopCandy showed off the above Alex Ross DVD cover and it's, well, not great. I'd be curious to hear what norms (non comic geeks) think about this cover. Does it make you want to watch this movie? You already had geeks like me with hello on this one anyway, but I'm not sure if the non-initiated will be drawn in by Ross's cover. Planet Hulk is one of my all-time favorite comic runs, so I want more people to check this out and go read the comics. Luckily, the clip below makes me think that this will probably be the very best of the Marvel straight-to-DVD movies. Fingers crossed until Planet Hulk comes out in February.

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