Casting Internets

Just as I finish one of these things, something awesome comes out that I just have to share. Moments after hitting the Publish Post button, /Film
killed me with this video of Snoop Dogg trying to answer a Watchmen movie question on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.

My buddy Jesse tipped me off to this amazing Twitter account called shitmydadsays. I don't generally read Twitter accounts (is that even what they call them?), but I think I'll be coming back for more pearls of wisdom from this crotchety man in his 70s. I think he's my new hero.

Hopefully my fellow horror fans are already familiar with Stacie Ponder's Final Girl blog. She just posted awesome movie poster friday - the LESBIAN VAMPIRE edition!
. She found some great posters like this one, my favorite of the batch.



There wasn't much real information, but according to a Toy News International post, Sideshow's going to be doing statues and dioramas based on the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. If they're even nearly as cool as NECA's figures, we're all in for treat.

In other toy-related news, Ian at The Autumn Society posted this awesome piece he did for the Cave Drawing Ink sketch contest this week. I wasn't familiar with CDI before, but I love the idea of doing weekly sketch contests on a single pop culture theme. These week's it's Joe!


Oh, DO go on.

Casting Internets

A few months back (maybe 6 actually) I tore through Dennis Lehane's Shutter Island in just two days. Now, I'm a slow reader, so you know a book's gotta be pretty damn engrossing for me to stay focused that long. When I heard it was going to be turned into a movie, I was skeptical, but with Martin Scorsese directing and Leo DiCaprio, Mark Ruffalo and Ben Kingsley involved my fears were alleviated. But really, who cares? I've always got the rad book to go back to (assuming Rickey ever finishes it and gives it back). Anyway, today, AWESOME/Film showed off the Japanese poster today:



This is from a couple days back, but Bruce Willis has confirmed that he's going to be in The Expendables. As you know, I'm crazy excited about this movie, but with each new announcement, it gets closer and closer to the epic, three-part Many Movie Men TTT we did about a year back. Maybe we'll even get a cut! (via /Film.)

Last week I had the pleasure of attending a holiday preview for Sega games. It was in a swanky Manhattan hotel penthouse which was pretty rad and it went really well, except for the intense heat combined with the 15-20 block walk. The two highlights were getting to see Iron Man 2 and Aliens vs. Predator getting played. AVP looks like it will be amazing, you can play as human marines, aliens or Predatprs (for those of you who don't know, I freaking LOVE Predators). Check out AVP screenshots at /Gamer.

Turns out that Geoff Johns is co-writing the Shazam movie. As readers might remember, it's a character I like but don't have a strong tie to, which means it can't possibly disappoint me (especially if they grab the Rock to play Black Adam!!!). Plus, Johns is a super nice guy. I just hope this doesn't take him away from the DCU too much as he's writing some of the best damn comics out there. (via /Film.)

Finally, Jay-Z's "D.O.A." is amazing. Love the use of actual instruments (at least in the video) and can't wait for the release of The Blueprint Vol. 3 on September 11 (it's weird looking forward to that date).

Jay-Z - D.O.A (Death of Auto-Tune)
Uploaded by wesky - Watch more music videos, in HD!

Oh, DO go on.

Ad It Up: The Return of Clayface!!!

This little ditty comes to you from Major Bummer #5, October of 1997, just like last week's. It sums up why I wish I had all of my old back issues with me here in New York and why I love comics from this time so much. Can you imagine such a big push for the return of Clayface nowadays? Well, probably not because he seems to be popping up every three months or so, but who's counting? Heck, I even tried to count, but there are six Clayfaces listed on The Comic Book Database:

Clayface (01 - Basil Karlo) -
Clayface (02 - Matthew Hagen) -
Clayface (03 - Preston Payne) -
Clayface (04 - Sondra Fuller) -
Clayface (05 - Cassius Clay) -
Clayface (06 - Johnny Williams)

That is way too much research to deal with. Anyway, I also love that this ad is trying to bolster excitement for Batman #550 for a brand new character called Chase. I remember the push behind Chase much more than the actual stories in these comics (which are in my boxes back home) and was pretty happy when Chase showed up in Manhunter (even though I didn't read that book much) and more recently in the fantastic Final Crisis: Escape, a book I don't understand, but am in love with. Plus, how cool is it that two of the artists for the comic she debuted in are Kelly Jones and JH Williams III? I wish I could get them to draw me! Ah, good times.
Oh, DO go on.

Conquering Mt. Fuji!!!

Hey gang, I know it's been a while since I've talked about food, but I just had to share these photos with you guys. See, even since I moved out here four years ago, I've been seeing this building up on a mountain off of 87. From a distance it looked like some kind of crazy fortress or a club or mansion. Turns out it's a restaurant called Mt. Fuji. Well, as a thank you for helping some friends move, we were treated to an amazing dinner at Mt. Fuji, which turns out to be a hibachi place (that's where the chop everything at your table). I've been to one or two in my time, but not in a while and it was a great time. Thanks to my new phone I was able to snap some pictures, though I wish I had been video taping the whole thing, it was THAT awesome.

These are the crazy, Japanese style arches you cross through at the ground level before the long drive up the mountain (well, it's not that long).



Here's the front of the place along with Em and her dad from the back. Far as I know it looks pretty authentic.



There's even a cool little waterfall right outside the place.



This one's not really impressive, but I took it looking down on what I think is the direction I was always looking up at this place from. If nothing else, it shows how high up it is.



Here's a crummy picture of the bar that I was trying to take on the sly. We waiting in this great lounge area that I could see spending many an evening given the time and resources.



Someone told the folks at the restaurant it was Em's dad's birthday so this dragon covered in bells tried to eat his head. Luckily, I jumped up in time to fight him off. No big deal.



Here's a better view of the table (the metal part is the cooking surface). We had quite the party. Oh and the green tea martinis were delightful!



This weird monkey thing was out in the lobby on the way out. As you can see by my Perez Hilton-eque Photoshop work, it had a huge twig and berries.



I like to think that this awesome statue...



...is in the middle of a dance fight with this one.



I saw the lamp with the restaurant's name on it as we were leaving and grabbed one last photo before heading out. A good time was had by all!




Oh, DO go on.

Brutally Honest Video Not Personal But Hilarious

I have a confession to make, I love pop punk music. Green Day and Blink-182 Green Day were big with me when they started hitting big and I still dig both bands. Plus, as I've mentioned on here before, I really dig Fall Out Boy and the last Plain White T's record is pretty good. It's just fun, fast music that you can enjoy either in bits or as full albums. That being said, I take a lot of these bands on a case by case basis to see if they're bringing anything new to the table. I'm not sure if I like All Time Low yet, though in a weird twist of fate, I saw this video for their song "Weightless" the day after I saw them on the only episode of Conan's Tonight Show I've seen (I know, I'm bad for not watching it more often).

Anyway, I really like the floating word theme behind the video, especially when it pokes fun at ATL, makes fun of the people Twittering ( roughly "No one cares what you're doing.") and the appearances by FOB's Pete Wentz and Blink's Mark Hoppus. Even if you hate pop punk music, check the video out, I bet you'll get a kick out of it.



{Post does not go on}
Oh, DO go on.

Who Wants To Watch Some Movies?

Hey gang, I noticed something interesting while watching Maniac Cop and Zombie last weekend. Apparently Netflix on Xbox went through some upgrades recently and, in addition to being able to scroll through new releases and genres right on Xbox Live, you can also watch movies with people at the same time by setting up a part. Has anyone tried this yet? I've heard you can hook up with 7 other people, but I don't know if you can talk over the headsets like you can with games like Halo.

So, really, what I'm asking is, would anyone be interested in watching movies on Xbox Live? If so, drop me a line, my gamertag is Deechmonkee!


{This post does not go on}
Oh, DO go on.

Halloween Scene: Maniac Cop & Zombie

Every now and then I get a day to myself at the house. And, as you might expect, when I do, I try and watch as many horror movies as possible. Last Saturday happened to be one of those days and I was able to watch two classic horror movies I'd never seen before, Maniac Cop (1988) and Lucio Fulci's Zombie (1979). I definitely liked one more than the other, but you might be surprised by which one!

First of all, I actually thought that I had seen Maniac Cop as it was crossed off in my Creature Features book. I think I kinda sorta half watched it or one of the sequels one time when visiting Em back when we were dating in college. Her parents had on demand and I tried watching it but probably fell asleep. Anyway, just watching the credits was a surprise. Tom Atkits , Bruce Campbell and Richard Roundtree (Shaft!!!) all in one movie? Plus the bad ass dude who fights Eastwood for like 15 minutes at the end of Any Which Way You Can (William Smith, though he looks completely different than in that movie), sold. I could have given this movie the thumbs up just based on the credits!

But, it really is a fun movie, a great one to stumble on thanks to NetBox (that's what I call Netflix & Xbox) as there are plenty of kills, a great killer with a pretty interesting origin and such great actors. The plot revolves around a crazy cop killing people out on the streets which, as you'd expect, makes people weary of the cops (one lady even caps one who's trying to help her). Atkins is investigating and is one of the only people to believe Campbell when he says he didn't do it after his wife gets iced by the killer cop. Campbell's girlfriend/mistress, who's also a cop, forms the third point in this triangle of awesome.

In addition to the basic level of coolness that Atkins brings to all of his horror roles, I really like seeing Campbell playing a straight part. Sure he's a badass in the Evil Dead flicks, but he's a winking-at-the-camera kind of a bad ass. Here he's a regular guy trying to make sense of what turns out to be a potentially supernatural occurrence (an unkillable cop back from the dead?). Oh, also, for those who this might be an incentive for, there's a naked prison shower fight flashback scene. Hey, I call out boobs, why not a little man nudity?

Anyway, after MC, I almost watched the sequel, but didn't want to get too burned out on the series (though, in an unusual twist, the Creature Features guy gave all three movies three stars, you almost never see that kind of consistency). So, I was flipping and flipping and flipping until I discovered that Fulci's Zombie, the supposed semi-sequel to the original Dawn of the Dead I've heard so much about, got put on NetBox. I've also been hearing about the infamous Zombie vs. Shark and eye gouging scenes for years, so I figured it would be a great candidate for my mini horror fest.

And I gotta say, it's kind of boring. My experience with Italian horror doesn't stretch beyond Dario Argento's Suspiria and Mother of Tears. If you're looking for a train wreck of a blog post, please check out that Suspiria link, the only blog post I've considered deleting. Anyway, maybe I just don't get the sensibilities of Italian horror, or maybe I just haven't seen the really good ones or maybe they're just batshit crazy and that's why people like them. I'm definitely not against batshit craziness, so it's not like I'm cutting myself off from further Fulci or Argento flicks, they're just not incredibly hight on my list.

The problem with Zombie is that it's kind of slow and boring. There's a lot of people talking and sailing on boats, but when it does get to the zombie goodness it is definitely good stuff. I just wish there was more of it. The other problem with Zombie (which isn't the film's fault), is that it's reached this legendary status because of the aforementioned scenes that every horror fan talks about it. It's been on every horror list I've ever seen, so all the good parts were basically ruined. And, with the exception of the final shot of zombies running around NYC, you've probably seen those two amazing scenes online or a on a clip show before.

I don't usually like adding to the SPOILER-ness of horror movies, but here's clips of those two scenes (I recommend watching just them or reading a trade while half-watching Zombie). First the shark fight:


Holy crap this is crazy. It really does look like a zombie fighting a shark and neither one really wins. It's an amazing piece of film that I would sit through a hundred hours of boring to see, seriously, it's worth it and I can only imagine how much better it would look on DVD or Blu-ray (the Netflix file wasn't of the best quality and YouTube doesn't REALLY do it justice).

And here's the eye gouge (not for the squeamish):


Again, this moment is worth the price of admission as it's one of the most real-looking effects I've seen (though I was able to see how they did it and it's kind of beautiful in it's simplicity).

One last thing I want to comment on is the "sequel" aspect of the movie in relation to Romero's Dawn of the Dead (one of my top three favorite horror movies). Very simply, it's not. At all. It was finished before DOTD and the name was just changed. Luckily, my enjoyment didn't hinge on it's relation to DOTD.

So, in the end, I had a great time watching some classic horror movies, even though Zombie might have been a little boring aside from the tent pole scenes, but seeing two rad NYC-based movies (I didn't see anything I recognized, though things have changed quite a bit even since 1988) was a great way to spend part of my Saturday.

Oh, DO go on.

Train-Ing Video: Beer Wars (2009)

I recently had the opportunity to watch Beer Wars, a documentary about smaller breweries competing with the big three (at the time) beer makers in the US: Miller, Anheuser-Busch (aka Budweiser) and Coors and I wasn't all that impressed.

The film starts off promisingly, with some really creative animated sequences that introduce Anat Baron, the narrator and director. She states her history working in corporate America and then moving over to the fledgling Mike's Hard Lemonade before leaving, only to come back and make this documentary.

I started having problems fairly early on when it seemed like Baron was going to explain some of the history of the larger beer manufacturers only to veer away and move forward. Generally, I like to understand a bit of the overall history of a subject before diving into it, it's a good way to refresh people in the know and inform newbies. I see now that a possible reason for this is because she didn't want to make the obvious connection between what Anheuser-Busch was like 100 years ago and what an organization like Dogfish Head is like today. You see, A-B, especially, gets made into the bad guy in by the end, but people tend to forget that these were small, start-up American companies at one time too, but you won't hear a single mention of that in the doc.

It wasn't until much later that I really started having problems with the movie though. After a brief and scattershot history of the brewing industry in America (more like a timeline showing how many breweries were in the US over the years), we get introduced to two smaller beer companies, one the aforementioned Dogfish Head, the other a caffeinated beer called Moonshot. Dogfish Head I've heard of, Moonshot I haven't, though it sounds a lot like Buzz Beer from the Drew Carey Show to me. Anyway, after getting into these smaller breweries and talking to the guy who helped create Sam Adams (great beer), the movie awkwardly shifts back to Baron and her Michael Moore-ish attempt at putting people on the spot while attending beer conferences, trying to find A-B honcho August Busch IV and talking to senators.

There is some really interesting information about laws pertaining to beer and how a lot of them don't seem to make sense anymore. It actually sounded a lot like the current talk of health care reform: there's all these out-of-date rules and regulations, but there's also plenty of lobbyists wanting to keep it the same and accusations of kick backs and the like. I do agree that it sounds like reform is in order, but there's enough other stuff going on in the world that it probably won't be a priority anytime soon. (How great would it be, though, if all we had to worry about were suspect post-prohibition beer laws?)

We eventually bounce back to the Dogfish and Moonshot folks, but towards the end, the doc really starts to feel unfocused and cramped. Is the movie about small breweries trying to make it even though they've got a tough road ahead of them, big beer companies vs. the small or breweries vs. big government? We're never quite given a definite answer on exactly who this war is between, though we can assume "the little guy" is on one side. I guess it's that unfocused nature that bothers me.

But what really bothers me is the villainizing of the big beer companies. Sure, Coors Light doesn't taste as good as something like Blue Moon (which I also love), but I'm not an asshole for wanting to kick back and down a bunch of Coors Light and I can't help but feel like this movie is trying to tell me that I am. Towards the end of the doc there's this strange paradox where 99% of the film is desperately trying to get me to hate A-B because they bought a successful brewery like Rolling Rock, but don't make the beer in Latrobe, PA anymore or because they put out similar products as smaller breweries to compete or take shelf space. Yes, that sucks and I'm sure there's some shady stuff going on there, but welcome to the world of business. I'm sick of "it's not fair-ism" dammit! Learn how to work within the system, Sam Adams did it (a connection they don't actually make in the film).

For whatever reason Miller and Coors get let off the hook because people who work there drink together (that's what I got from it at least). Meanwhile, the woman who owns/runs Moonshot is actually trying to cut a deal with the bigger dogs, though, of course, A-B is the last on her list. Demonizing something while one of your highly sympathetic main characters sees it as an end to her financial woes just doesn't work from a story-telling perspective.

Another conundrum I noticed while watching the end of the flick is that, on one hand, the big beer companies are being criticized for making boring beer, but they're also criticized for either buying up smaller brews and selling them to a wider audience or creating their own microbrew-like beers to "compete" with the little guys. Make up your mind! Once again, what is the message of this movie?

I'm sure I'm coming off as pro-corporate and anti-small business, but that's not the case. I've only ever worked for smaller, privately owned companies and I completely support them, but I'm also not anti-corporation. There isn't anything inherently wrong with a corp and you've got to realize when watching something like this, that your narrator is biased and has an agenda. I'm not saying she misrepresented the facts, but she's using information like paint to show you a picture and she might leave out some colors or make others brighter. Like I mentioned above, nowhere is it mentioned that the big dogs were once struggling companies themselves. Does becoming big and successful make you bad? I hope not, because that seems to be exactly what's happening with the Dogfish folks. But also, you've got to remember that passionate people work for corporations just like they do small breweries. There is an interview with an A-B brewmaster on this very subject, which I appreciated.

Finally, the film suffers from bad timing, which is not the fault of anyone really. As anyone who follows the business of beer knows, Miller and Coors have merged and A-B got bought out by a foreign company. These huge bits of information are mentioned only briefly at the very end and not really delved into because they probably happened after the movie wrapped. While I can't fault someone for bad timing on both a beer and economic front (the economic decline and it's effect on beer isn't mentioned at all), I would like to think if I was in the position of making a film like this, I'd try and do a few follow-up interviews with my primary people and throw them in. But, hey, I don't make movies (yet) and I don't know what the money situation was like, so who knows?

Overall, I liked some of the early stylistic approaches that Beer Wars made, but, in the end just couldn't get down with message. Now to head home and decide between a Coors Light and a beer from Sam's Summer Sampler (I love me a sampler pack!).

Oh, DO go on.

Record Review: The Phenomenal Handclap Band (2009)

If you would have told me a few months back how much I would like a record from an all star line-up of indie rockers, I'd tell you you're crazy. When I think of indie rock nowadays, I gotta say, images of shoegazers playing super slow and mostly boring music pops into my head. It's inaccurate and unfair I know, but I it's honest. Well, all that went out the door with The Phenomenal Handclap Band's self titled record.

I actually got sent a copy of this record back when I was doing album reviews for the now defunct Performing SongwriterPerforming Songwriter. Brooke over at Big Hassle, who is awesome, sent me this record and I suck for not reviewing it sooner, especially considering how much I freaking love it.

Now, unfortunately, The PHB don't have a Wiki page, their blog isn't super informative and I've misplaced the press release I was sent along with the record, so I can't give too much background, but I do remember it being hyped as a band made up of indie rock all-stars. And, since there's different singers on nearly every track, I'm guessing this is almost like a Timbaland record, where the same producers/band are consistent with different singers.

Against all my expectations, this record turned out to be a conglomeration of 60s and 70s riffs and grooves laid over some amazingly catchy synth beats. It's like Deep Purple meets Sly and the Family Stone...with a synthesizer. I'm not very familiar with synth pop, but this is the best I've heard it lately.

The album, which came out on June 23 from Friendly Fire, sports 12 tracks and curiously opens with a just-over-6 minute instrumental called "The Journey To Serra Da Estrela." This again, threw up a red flag as far as I was concerned (who starts a record with an instrumental?), but it makes an awesome journey starting with some Pink Floyd-like atmosphere and gets heavily into the synth-funk. Every time I was just about to get bored, they introduced another element that drops in seamlessly and adds another layer.

And really, that's what I love about this record, there's so many layers. I've listened to it so many times and it feels like I'm picking up new elements every time. I also think I get a new favorite song each time. This time around it's track 6 called "15 to 20" which features Lady Tigra, who I haven't heard of, but will definitely check out. First off the groove is just sick. You can't help but bob your head and tap your foot at the very least. Even the lyrics, which consist of counting for a good portion of the song, are awesome and delivered beautifully, especially when the counting stops and we hit rapid fire mode. Great stuff.

The whole album is like this, even though the singers switch up with each new track (I think, there might be a few repeat singers). There is one song though that I just can't get into. It's called "Baby," and instead of being a a rock/synth combo, it's a a soul/R&B throwback. It's not a bad song, but instead of feeling inspired by other music, like the rest of the record, it just feels like a lift. Maybe it's because soul is still around and I've heard lots of new songs like this and there isn't a lot of 70s-influenced rock on the radio anymore. Or maybe that it sounded like a combination of Marvin Gaye and James Brown. It just felt TOO similar, even though the music and singing were solid.

But, "Baby" doesn't ruin the album by any means, and maybe in a few weeks, when I listen to it again, it'll jump to my favorites list. Another big surprise on the record was the last track called "The Circle Is Broken" which is a nearly-9 minute track. Again, I wasn't so sure about such a long final track, but like the first one, it gets crazy and awesome, just when it might get a little boring. Plus, the first few bars of this song sound like the music from the castle levels of the first Mario game. It really is just a creepy, haunting dance tune and the repetition of the lyric "This is where the story ends," seems really appropriate. The song never gets scary, but it is a kind of funhouse ride that I would love to see a short film set to.

I really can't recommend this record enough for you guys. You can buy it on Amazon here .
Oh, DO go on.

Casting Internets

I gathered most of these links last Friday, but got a bit lazy and haven't posted them till today. They're still worth a look, I think.

This one's from today and it's about Tarantino's movie universes. Apparently there's some linkage between Inglorious Basterds and the Tarantino-written True Romance. Very cool. And as I've said before (when I've incorrectly guessed the release date of the movie at least twice) I can't wait for this movie. (via /Film)

Please, please do yourself a favor and check out the best and worst nerdy pick-up lines the female readers of Topless Robot have heard
. They're amazingly hilarious and sometimes even sweet.


A week or two back, BC at Horror Movie A Day reviewed Sea Beast, which I watched and had nearly identical thoughts on. Instead of posting a similar review, I figured I'd just link to his.

Ben Morse has posted all of his ridiculously awesome Nova sketchbook here, here and here. Everyone's talking about how cool the Jim Lee one, which is totally true, but I think Ethan Van Sciver's (below) is my favorite.



According to DC's The Source blog, John Carpenter wrote the intro to Steve Niles and Kelley Jones' Gotham After Midnight trade. I talked about this crazy awesome horror comics here, but lost track of the rest of the issues and can't wait to read it in trade.

I never knew what it was called, but I've always loved the "cut/slide" moment in a movie (usually horror). It's the part where after someone gets sliced in some manner, their diced body part slowly slides down the line of the cut. Thanks to /Film for explaining and drawing my attention to this highly violent video.



Wired posted this awesome picture of an early concept model of the Apollo lander. I love this kind of stuff. I wonder if these dudes were heavily into sci-fi.



Here's another one from Wired.com's science pages, a group of Canadian mathematicians developed an equation for dealing with a zombie outbreak. As someone who has figured out the best place to hole up given several locations in my daily life (the Palisades Mall is number 1 if you can get it fortified, it even has an ice rink!), I can definitely appreciate these guys trying and succeeding to get credit for such geekery.

Finally, check out the "10 Horrible Paintings from Atari 2600 Game Box Art" list over at Topless Robot, as always, it's a hoot.
Oh, DO go on.

Toys and Cartoons in Music Videos!

I'm not sure if I like either of these songs as songs, but I dug the videos.

First up, Owl City's "Fireflies" which has a dude playing the song in a retro kids room full of toys. I spotted Robo Sapien, Speak and Spell and a bunch more, it's good stuff:

Owl City - Fireflies
Uploaded by UniversalMusicGroup. - Explore more music videos.

Second, I was struck by the unique animated style of this Death Cab For Cutie video yesterday morning, though, for the life of me, I couldn't remember the name of the band until well over 24 hours later. I was only able to remember it based on the director's last name being Robot (his name's Walter Robot and his site's pretty rad). The song's called "Grapevine Fires."

Death Cab for Cutie"Grapevine Fires"directed by Walter Robot
Uploaded by Wandaproductions. - Explore more music videos.

Oh, DO go on.

Green Lantern: First Flight

As luck would have it, on the same day that my Blackest Night theory was confirmed, we got the animated Green Lantern: First Flight DVD and watched it. And I liked it, a lot. I haven't seen Wonder Woman yet, but GL was far better than all the other animated movies I've seen from both DC and Marvel.

But, of course, I have a few fanboy complaints that I'd like to get out of my system right off the bat. I have no problem that they didn't get into the emotional spectrum and only briefly mentioned how yellow and green are opposing colors, but I thought it was kind of strange that, given that, the floating cities on Oa were yellow. This is pretty picky, but it bothered me (to be SUPER picky, the planet Oa was red). There was a ton of yellow in the movie actually that seemingly had no effect which is why I was surprised when they got into the yellow vs. green stuff later on.

This might dip into SPOILER territory, but I didn't understand why Sinestro, once he got the yellow ring, had the Sinestro Corps symbol on his chest, but the yellow battery and his ring had the Green Lantern symbol (what's even weirder is that the actual Green Lantern power battery did not have that symbol).

Okay, fanboy bitching aside, this movie was rad. Within five minutes of the movie beginning Hal Jordan has received the ring from Abin Sur and, soon, he's approached by a cache of GLs including Kilowog, Boodika and Tomar-Re. After that he's off-planet on Oa getting hassled by the Guardians (who are more dottering old guys than omnipotent schemers) for being human and not worthy of the ring (we don't ever get told how the rings are divvied up). Sinestro offers to back him and the two of them go off in search of Kanjar Ro. We get hints of Sinestro's crazy strictness and desire for order and then the story flips to a GLs vs. Sinestro while Hal's ring has been stripped away for reason I don't want to spoil. So, there's kind of an Iron Man like set-up at the end (depowered hero fighting fully functional villain and still winning), but I thought it was done a lot better.

I was also surprised at how adult the movie was even though it's rated PG-13. I mean there's not hardcore sex (or any sex actually) and head splattering violence, but there are a few swears and one particular death towards the end that reminded me of that dude getting "screwed to death" in Jason X. I was shocked by that one actually. There's even some neck snaps and all that. SPOILER. The final battle itself doesn't exactly get bloody, but there are literally hundreds (maybe thousands) of implied GL deaths due to suffocation in space. Yeesh.

For GL fans, the movie doesn't quite get into the specific details that Geoff Johns gets into in Rebirth (like how Kilowog's constructs are the only ones that make a sound), but we do get great characterizations of all the characters (though Boodika fans will probably not like how she's portrayed either visually or her character). And a huge part of the characterization is thanks to the voice actors. I especially love Victor Garber as Sinestro. He's the dad in Alias and plays a somewhat similar character (I think they even based aspects of Sinestro's face on Garber as I could literally see him). I also really dug Michael Madsen as Kilowog, though it's not a casting choice I would have ever thought of. The biggest head scratcher for me, though was John Larroquette as Tomar-Re. It's a pretty small part and Larroquette's a fairly big deal, so I wonder how he got involved in the project. Maybe he's a big fan?

An interesting note about the aliens is that they actually changed a lot of their looks. Abin Sur has chin horns, the Weaopners of Qward are spider-like (maybe a Spider Guild reference?) and Kanjar Ro has a squidish look. I was scratching my head about this changes when I realized that, in the comics, those are all just regular looking dudes who happen to be pink. The redesigns end up looking pretty cool and the artists seem to have had a ton of fun creating all kinds of new ones to throw in the background.

There's been a lot of talk about getting a Sinestro Corps War animated movie (in fact, I've written at least two wish list-style bits on the subject myself for ToyFare and Wizard) and I think this might be a pretty good set up. By the end of First Flight you've got a status quo that could easily lead into a stripped-down version of SCW that would work pretty well. My finger's are crossed.

Also of note, there's a special feature on the DVD where Dan DiDio, Geoff Johns and Peter Tomasi all talk about Blackest Night. Johns actually explains an aspect of the Black Lanterns in it that has been hinted at, but not full stated in the series so far. SPOILER? So, you know the scenes where the BLs see which emotion their targets are giving off? Well, apparently, they actually feed off of that energy and the more there is the more powerful they become. Cool, right? I was wondering when they were going to get around to explaining why they kept analyzing peoples' placement on the emotional spectrum (this may have been explained in another interview somewhere, but I've been keeping away because I don't want anything spoiled).

Oh, DO go on.

What Happened To The Olsen Twins?

The years have not been good:

The Veronicas |MTV Music

ZING! Take that celebrities who are way, WAY more successful than me.
Oh, DO go on.

Blackest Night Theory Confirmed!

Blackest Night spoilers ahead!

Back in May, I guessed that one-time Green Lantern villain Nekron would have something to do with this whole Blackest Night thing. Well, according to Rich Johnston over at Bleeding Cool, I was right.

Just click on the image shown and then flip through the images until you get to the non-smiley face reveal.

For more Blackest Night goodness, check out Curt Purcell's review of the books with an eye towards the horror aspect. Here's the latest on his blog The Groovy Age of Horror (love that name).
Oh, DO go on.

Ad It Up: 3D TV?!?!?!

Welcome to a new, weekly segment called Ad It Up which will take a look ads from comics. Some will be funny, others more of a "hey, remember that?" kind of thing, but it should be fun. I decided to start off with kind of a weird one:


This was scanned from Major Bummer #5 which has a cover date October 1997. I remember seeing this image, but never really read the copy (I rarely stop on ads, unless they're house ads for comics). Aside from the hilarious "bad ass" text, I've gotta say this ad intrigues me. Did C-3D ever come out? I know they're working on some cool 3D TVs right now, but did anyone ever pick one of these bad boys up? I need to know!

Also, I've got to give a shout out to Bob Mitchel in the 21st Century, a blog with all kinds of great scans that inadvertantly gave me the idea for this. He even posted a hilarious Marvel house ad with Dr. Doom wearing a Hulk sweatshirt. I had no idea he was such a fan!
Oh, DO go on.

Casting Internets (I like this title better, don't you?)

First off, everyone give thanks, Ben Morse is okay after his surgery. He also had the foresight to ask his fiance to take pictures, check 'em out. Get well soon playah.

How can you not be excited for Batman Arkham Asylum?



I don't think I'll ever get enough of artists drawing/painting/sculpting interpretations of pop culture figures. If I could draw or paint, this is pretty much all I would do. Check out Rivet's "We'll be Right Back..." show. Below are my three favorites, but they're all rad. Huge bonus points because they're located in Columbus, Ohio which is about 45 minutes from where I went to college (via The Autumn Society.)







Speaking of cool pop culture artists, check out Dennis J. Reinmüller's cover of Wolverine #104 over on Covered (my absolute favorite art blog).



Sam's completely right, Raquel Welch is super hot. She makes some good points about other stuff too, but man...that's a great pic.

And finally, my buddy Jesse Thompson over at Maxim.com
found this 1-900 horror commercial:


Oh, DO go on.

Trade Post: Last Week's Pile 8-9-09

It's been almost a month since I ran down what trades I've read recently and I'm sure you're chomping at the bit for more of my "insight" (ie blathering). To catch up on a few things. I finished Tor and Barry Ween from last time. Barry was awesome from beginning to end, while Tor felt a little long, though it might be solely worth checking out for the art.

MAJOR BUMMER #1-15 (DC) written by John Arcudi, drawn by Doug Mahnke
Okay, obviously this one isn't a trade, but that's because it hasn't been collected yet (not my fault). I remember reading about this book in Wizard all the time back in 1997-1998. It's about this guy named Lou who gets super powers thanks to a couple of aliens working on a college project, but he wants nothing to do with being a super hero. But that doesn't stop other similarly afflicted people from trying to get Lou into the super hero game. I love this creative team. Arcudi's doing rad things with B.P.R.D. and Mahnke's the sickest artist out there right now. No offense to JG Jones, but I really wish they would have gotten Mahnke to draw all of Final Crisis. And pretty much any other comic ever. Oh, also, one quick thought about this book: I wonder if it would still be going on (or at least gone on for longer) if it had been a creator-owned book from Image, Dark Horse or one of the smaller companies (this book has no connections to the DCU). Ah well, I think it works very well in its 15 issues.

DAREDEVIL: HELL TO PAY 1 & 2, CRUEL AND UNUSUAL (Marvel) written by Ed Brubaker and Greg Rucka for CAU, drawn by Michael Lark, Stefano Gaudiano, Lee Weeks, Marko Djurdjevic, John Romita Sr., Al Milgrom, Gene Colan, Bill Sienkiewicz, Alex Maleev, Lee Bermejo & Paul Azaceta
Altogether these three trades cover Daredevil #94-110 which is everything post Brian Michael Bendis' run minus Bru's first two trades. I started reading DD with Kevin Smith's first issue and enjoyed the book (for the most part) up through Bru's first arc called Devil Inside and Out which had Matt Murdock in jail. I really liked the secret agent-like quality of Murdock at the time and after he broke out of jail, but dropped off somewhere in the second arc when everything revolved around smell. The problem with basing a written story around the idea of smell is that, well, I can't smell it. So, I lost track of the book, but I still am a huge Ed Brubaker fan and heard his re-team with Rucka was good so I gave these books a shot and I liked them but I won't be adding them to my shelf. I think I'm all set when it comes to reading about a mentally unstable Daredevil. It was one of the aspects of Bendis' run that didn't really work (though, to be fair, I was reading monthly comics about once every five months, so I was cramming a lot in on college breaks). I did like how Bru got rid of Murdock's wife Milla without killing her and the #100 issue had a lot of cool art sequences, though watching yet another "drugged hero relives his mistakes" comic wasn't the most exciting thing in the world. All in all, they were solid comics, just not the kind of thing that I was looking for. I'd like to see a drastically new direction for DD. Maybe not something bright and sparkly, but maybe a little less crazy?

SUPERMAN MAN OF STEEL VOL. 4 (DC) written by John Byrne, Marv Wolfman & Paul Levitz, drawn by John Byrne, Jerry Ordway, Greg LaRocque, Erik Larsen
So, the deal with the MOS trades is that they're (in theory) reprinting every post-Crisis on Infinite Earths Superman in order from John Byrne's reboot Man of Steel miniseries on. Being a huge Superman fan, these books were on the top of my "must get" list and as of this last Christmas, I acquired all the ones available as of then (and now I think). The thing about these comics (Superman 7-8, Action 590-591, Adventures 460-431, Legion 37-38) is that some of them are kind of hard to slog through. Partly because they still fall into that "I'm describing what I'm doing" writing style and partly because, by the time I started reading Superman in the early 90s I had heard about a lot of these stories already. But, this book does include the first appearance of Rampage, an encounter with the Metal Men, a convoluted origin for Chemo that includes multiple earths and Crisis, an adventure drawn by Erik Larsen and, most interestingly, a crossover between Superman and Legion that explained why Superboy was still appearing in the future even though, post-Crisis, he wasn't supposed to exist. It's kind of convoluted, but it also seems like Geoff Johns was very familiar with the story when he wrote the end of Legion of 3 Worlds (a series I REALLY liked). Another interesting thing about these books is that, after Crisis, they were still trying to figure out how Crisis effected everything and they were really focused on nailing down Superman's abilities. For instance, he's not as strong or fast as he was pre-Crisis and even has trouble fighting a goon like Mammoth from the Fearsome Five (sporting two new members in the form of Charger and Deuce, characters that I've never heard of). And, finally, I know this is just a coincidence, but doesn't this look kind like one of the new Corps symbols:

My only complaint about these books is that I wish they reprinted the covers between the issues. Kudos for including all relevant issues though and not skipping over tie-ins!

MILLENNIUM (DC) written by Steve Englehard, drawn by Joe Staton & Ian Gibson
I've read a lot of crossovers in my days. Some can be easily contained within the miniseries/crossover they were originally sold as (Sinestro Corps War), while some rely heavily on tie-in issues in addition to the main book to tell the full story (Civil War, Secret Invasion). I'm not sure if I prefer one way of telling a story to another, but I definitely prefer a trade that has all of the pieces of the puzzle in one place, which, unfortunately, Millennium doesn't. Huge story elements take place in the tie-in issues. See, the whole idea (which wasn't explained very well in the main series) is that the Manhunters from Green Lantern have infiltrated the lives of every hero (or at least every hero with an ongoing book at the time). One of the big ones at the time was Wally West's dad. I'm not sure if that still holds up, or if his dad was always a Manhunter or was just replaced at some point like a Skrull (for an incredibly in depth comparison of Millennium and Secret Invasion check out J. Caleb Mozzocco's Every Day Is LIke Wednesday "The Other Secret Invasion" posts). It would have been nice to read a fuller version of the story that might include more (or all) of the tie-ins. I love a good omnibus as long as it's not too heavy (I'm a contrarian). So, as a solo story, the Millennium trade doesn't really work, but it is a fun little time capsule that focuses heavily on the Green Lantern Corps (it was a weird time for them) and tries to launch a brand new team that I've seen in ads as The Wanderers, but I've never read an actual issue.

[Note: I haven't actually read Justice Society Vol. 1 yet, it must have snuck it's way into my pile on accident, or thanks to me cleaning up for the in-laws' visit.]

HOUSE OF MYSTERY VOL. 2 LOVE STORIES FOR DEAD PEOPLE (Vertigo) written by Matthew Sturges, drawn by Luca Rossi (plus guests!)
I am loving this book and with the cancellation of Exterminators, 100 Bullets ending and my inability to keep up with Scalped unless I'm reading trades, I'm still struggling to keep up with my current favorite Vertigo title. I think the "problem" is that there's so much going on that I can't really keep track of it from month to month. Anyway, this trade collects issues 6-10 of the Sandman spin-off, which really digs deep into why these people are stuck in the House of Mystery (I love that these old DC houses are still being used, the Secret Six were using the House of Secrets at one time as an HQ). We also get some more history of our heroine Fig. I've heard from friends that HOM comes off as kind of hitting all the right notes, but not being exceptional as far as Vertigo titles are concerned. I think this doesn't bother me because I haven't read all that many Vertigo titles in this vein. Plus, having just read Sandman in the past couple of years, it's nice to see some kind of continuation. I'm also, of course, a big fan of the side stories told in every issue drawn by guys like Kyle Baker and Bernie Wrightson. I think these stories are what really put me over the edge into the love column. Hopefully I can get caught up or at the very least, stay caught up on the trades. Oh, plus, Luca Rossi does a pretty great job in my opinion of capturing everything from regular folks to huge monsters and all kinds of fantastical elements in between. Plus, I can't think of anyone who has turned a house into such a character as him. Well done and hope this book has a long a fruitful life.

EASTMAN & LAIRD'S TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES COLLECTED SERIES VOLUME 1 (Tundra) written by Ryan Brown & Dean Clarrain, drawn by Ken Mitchroney and Jim Lawson
You guys, this was a weird one. I think this is a pre-Archie mini series (three issues, if I'm reading everything right) and boy is it crazy. Not only do you get a non-canon origin of the Turtles and Splinter as told by Splinter to April in the very beginning, but you also get highly complicated origins for Man Ray, Leatherhead and a surprise appearance from one of my favorite secondary characters (at least in toy form) Ace Duck. Voodoo curses, alternate dimensions, Krang in his robot suit, the Turtles in luchador-like costumes and a floating cow head who can traverse time and space. That's what you get in this volume. I'm not really sure how to explain it any other way than weird. If anyone knows how all this stuff fits in with the rest of the animated TMNT comics, please let me know. Here's a page scan to give you a taste of the weirdness:



Oh, DO go on.

Internet Casting

This whole link-posting thing is pretty fun. Plus, it's an easy way to get another post in, so that's great.

First and foremost, my buddy Sean worked long and hard on a feature about the history of Marvel comics told through interviews with tons of creators that's out in the current issue of Maxim. It looks sick and you should pick it up post-haste (though I keep seeing the previous month's cover and haven't been able to pick it up yet, boo).

According to /Film Pee-Wee Herman will be making a return to the stage in California, returning to his roots from the Groundlings. I was a big fan when I was a kid and, even at a young age, didn't care about his dirty theater doings, so it's about time.

Over at The Source (DC's rad blog that sports all kinds of new art and info), Superman editor Matt Idelson talks about the Superman books and shows off some new art. I've been in love with the Superman books since the triangle numbers returned and can't wait to see where these books head.

Colleague and friend Jim Gibbons, of Enemy of Peanuts fame got interviewed by the ufragtv guys at the Chicago con last weekend. Check out the clip:



In other podcast news, another friend and colleague Justin Aclin talks on the People You Don't Know podcast about what it's like working at ToyFare, his history with geekery and, of course, his awesome comic Hero House. I even get a mention! "Right hand man," that's me!

Saw this awesome image via /Gamer by the duelinganalogs folks and just had to repost it because you know I love Portal (apparently, so does Mario).




Oh, DO go on.

Talk To The (Band Of The) Hand

It's been a while since I did one of these cutesie titles (as I'm sure you can tell by the way it just rolls off the tongue), but I figured what the hell? As you hopefully read in my live blog of Nowhere to Run, I actually live blogged this entire movie with my phone only to lose the entire thing, which was frustrating to say the least. Well, Band of the Hand (1986) was crazy enough that I just had to talk about it, even without my notes. Luckily, typing an hour and a half worth of notes on a phone ingrained a lot of stuff into my head. Trust me, the explanation of this movie alone is worth the read. It's kind of Dirty Dozen and Suicide Squad meet Deathwish 4 and Breakin' 2.

Okay, here's the plot of Band of the Hand. There's these five delinquent kids. We see each of them commit their crime in the very beginning of the movie (one kid, Crazy, straight up shoots his presumably abusive father). For whatever reason (I thought I was paying attention, but maybe I missed it), these kids get chosen for a special program (Dirty Dozen). All five kids (all boys) get dropped in the Louisiana Bayou (there's the Suicide Squad aspect for you). There's the usual in fighting and what not and then this dude Joe shows up dressed like Rambo. Turns out Joe's kind of in charge of these kids (though he doesn't really do much except make sure one of them doesn't die from a snake bite).

Within a day or two they go from their regular 80s street clothes (they're ridiculous) to post apocalyptic clothes that the people on the season finale of Survivor would laugh at. Eventually Joe tells them that if they can work together and get to a certain place in the bayou they're free to go. One guy almost drowns another until Crazy yells at him, then they finally get to a big party hosted by (maybe?) Joe's native american tribe. There's a band there, but I couldn't place them. Oh, which reminds me, Bob freakin Dylan did the theme song with a Tom Petty-less Heartbreakers. Here's the song with some concert and movie images:



Okay, so after all this, the kids and Joe move to Miami (at least one of them lived there before this whole ordeal, but I'm not sure if they all did). They move into this old house that looks JUST like the one from Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo, kick out the bad homeless people (pimps, pushers) and let the good homeless people (old dudes, women, kids) stay. They also paint the house ridiculous colors like yellow and pink, not very manly.

Then one of the kids tries to find his girlfriend, played by a 23-year-old and not-disrobing Lauren Holly, who's wrapped up with a mobster (she's banging him). It took me until just about the end of the movie to realize it, but the bad big bad guy named Nestor is actually played by James Remar who was Ajax in the brilliant Warriors! Plus, one of his underlings goes by the name of Cream and is credited as Larry Fishburne. Okay, I'm getting off track.

Ajax gets pissed because someone's coming around after Holly, plus the kids are giving Cream trouble. At some point they get a bunch of uzis and stuff from the bad guys which they later use to defend themselves when Nestor's goons attack their pastel palace. I thought the movie was over there, but no way, now it's time for them to storm Nestor's strong hold. Did I mention that these kids are straight up murdering people with automatic and semi-automatic weapons? There's no way they could make this movie today, but if they did, I want Zac Efron in it, I bet he can get anything made.

Okay, so I left some important plot details out because you really should check this movie out. The title, by the way, refers to something Joe said about how each one of them is the finger on a fist and together they become the band of the hand. Watching it, I felt like it was the first issue or two of a comic. You got the disparate characters learning to get along, training and establishing a HQ. I also would have been satisfied if it randomly turned into a horror movie, but then again, I say that about almost everything.

According to IMDb's trivia page, Band of the Hand was intended as a TV pilot and when it didn't get picked up, it got release theatrically. I'm guessing the soundtrack (if there was one) sold more copies than tickets sold for the movie, but it's definitely worth a look, especially for fans of the ridiculous. I have no idea why I added this to my Netflix Queue, but I sure am glad I did.

Oh, DO go on.

Internet Casting

I haven't done one of these big link posts before, but I finally got caught up on all my Google Reader posts from the past week and heard some pretty rad news and saw some cool videos today and just wanted to share them with you, so enjoy!

I've been holding off on buying the Kill Bill DVDs for YEARS now. I freaking love those movies and they're the only Tarantino movies I love and haven't bought yet, because I've been hearing rumors of the Whole Bloody Affair version. Well, according to /Film, it's finally happening. Quentin just wanted to finish some additional animated sequences that he wrote to the O-Ren anime stuff. Can't say I really care about that, but I'm just looking forward to having this bad boy on my shelf finally, so I don't have to wait until TNT plays the two movies back-to-back. Also, Inglourious Basterds opens this weekend and I'm super psyched, regardless of my thoughts on Death Proof.

As you know, I love Kevin Smith and have been jonesing for a Smodcast (his podcast with Scott Mosier, usually) and finally got a new one this week. Listening to it told me three very interesting things. 1. Mosier and Jim Mahfood pitched a cartoon that got picked up for a pilot (or something). 2. Smith's latest film A Couple of Dicks (which will probably get renamed) will be finished filming soon. 3. Mosier's writing an action movie! Crazy. They also talk about the latest Harry Potter movie. I'd much rather hear them talk about it than actually watch it.

There's this group of artists in Philly called The Autumnal Society who are doing a show that opens soon (maybe today) focusing entirely on art based on video games. Check it out!

Last night I watched a portion of Discovery Channel's Raging Planet - Lightning in HD and it was freaking amazing. Em watched the one about tornados and also dug it, but I was busy updating my Sequential Swap page.

I haven't talked about Tony Jaa's Ong Bak or The Protector on UM, but I freaking love those movies, but Rob over at Topless Robot may just be right when he says that the girl in this movie called Raging Phoenix may top Jaa. It looks sick. Those Thai folks really know how to kick ass.



To break up the TR kudos, it's nice to see this fanboy get taken to the carpet for being a jerk to Rob Liefeld at a con by regular people along with pros like Cameron Stuart, Cully Hamner and Pia Guerra among others. Thanks to my buddy Seanfor the heads up.

And finally, this one's from last week. Again from Topless Robot, this is a video of Star Wars characters from the Disney Star Wars Weekend dancing (originally from College Humor). Rob didn't like it so much, but I laughed my ass off. There really is nothing like a Stormtrooper getting down.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Having just been to Disney World myself, this seems completely normal.

Oh, DO go on.

Live Blogging Nowhere To Run (1993)

I recently got a smart phone and have been having a lot of fun with it. Since my laptop's still a mess and I haven't been able to replace it yet, I figured I'd be able to live blog again using my phone's internet access capabilities. As some of you might have noticed, I accidentally posted this without the intro and the spell checks/notes/grammar fixes/links a few days ago. I'm still getting used to this whole phone thing. I'm not sure if I'll finish Nowhere to Run because it was pretty boring, but we'll see. I bet the end will be fun. As far as background info goes, the movie stars Jean-Claude Van Damme and, uh, that's all you really need to know. Oh, I also did a full live blog of Band of the Hand (1986) last night using my phone and it's nowhere to be found which is kind of infuriating because that was a pretty fun and completely weird movie. Oh well, here's Nowhere to Run, enjoy.


We'll see how this works with the new phone.

Heh, the other Culkin's in this mug.

Weird ominous pounding on the convict bus.

Already feels like a Fugitive sequel and I'm only minutes in.

I think I like this bus flipping scene better.

Aw JCVD knocked that cop out, uncool.

Gotta appreciate how quickly they get the story started.

Ohhh, his friend orchestrated the whole thing...then gets shot. Bye bye Billy.

Gotta love the nosy shopkeep.

Why is he wearing a suit in the woods?

I wish this would turn into a slasher movie, how cool would it be to see JCVD fight a slasher?

Is that Lost Highway's Patricia Arquette? [Haha, nope, it's Rosanna who was definitely not in Lost Highway.]

Ooh voyer strip teas--BOOBS!

JCVD stole the salt? And now culkin wants salt. Oh sweet IRONY!

Wait why is the house shaking? I missed the little girl's mumbled explanation.

Haha his name's Mookie? He has a gun?! Awesome.

It's not easy to watch a movie, type with my fingers and drink.

Oh, I love when people leave recordings in case they get killed, maybe if you prepared for your impending altercation instead of recording something ominous and foreshadowing you'd still be alive.

Ah, the shaking is from the mines.

And, of course, the mine owner is a dick, I'm smelling confrontation!

What!? Is the miner's 2nd in command magic? That's one hell of a card trick.

I can't tell if JCVD knows this woman or will just end up helping her because he's such a nice guy even though he seems tough as nails.

I assume he and the kid will become friends and JCVD will be mistaken as an imaginary friend.

The red ball down the stairs bit is worthy of horror, but not my Mini Monster movie.

"You like boobs? Boobs are gross, totally gross." - Culkin after walking up on JCVD looking at a skin mag in the woods.

Kid, never approach a naked foreigner in a pond.

"Oh God you have to ruin everything." [No idea what this refers to, maybe Culkin talking to his sister?]

"I'll tell mom you smoke." Mookie to his sister. [No idea if this is real or just him being a weirdo.]

Holy shit, I didn't see that window-break coming. Scared me.

Fight fight fight!

That dude with the meat hook wasn't messing around. Yet another horror element.

This movie's pretty boring after playing Stranglehold for the 360.

They're totally gonna bone.

Has no one heard about the massive number of escaped prisoners or seen them on TV?

Yeesh, nothing like having a gun pointed at you when you're naked.

I hate to say it, but Patricia looks rough. [Yeesh, sorry Rosanna.]

"He's got a big penis." - sister/daughter. "It's an average penis." - Rosanna. "You saw it already?" - sister/daughter. Hahahaha.

Jeez there's still a full hour left.

Do people really refuse awesome offers for their homes or is that just a movie thing?

I recognize the old guy "She's fucking us up." [Old dude is the same as the mine owner...I think.]

The old dude's pretty damn creepy, maybe this is kind of a horror movie.

Boo, last I checked fighting a fire is nowhere near as cool as fighting 20 dudes, yawn. Maybe I should have watched a Jackie Chan movie instead.

That's a pretty awesome way to keep the propane from exploding. [Haha, again, I can't remember what this refers to.]

Uh oh i'm getting sleepy....

[After falling asleep]

Time for sleep.


Oh, DO go on.

Yet Another Reason To Be Terrified By Parenthood

Hey gang, one of the reasons I haven't posted in a while is because Em and I made the long trek home (Michigan actually) for a family reunion. I got to meet my cousin's kids for the first time and they were adorable, so, of course, thoughts of kids have been dancing around lately. Then, this morning after possibly breaking my toe a letting out a torrent of profanity (how do you know if your pinky toe is broken?), I saw this video by a kid named Justin Bieber called "One Time."

Justin Bieber - One Time
Uploaded by UniversalMusicGroup. - Watch more music videos, in HD!

Here's the red flags I see: Two 13 year old kids are hanging out unsupervised in Usher's house. It apparently takes approximately 20 seconds to get a house party going thanks to technology. Girls seem to dress way...less than I remember. This party's lame, no one's even throwing stuff in the pool. Where's the beer? Plus, you don't zip your hooded sweatshirt up to the middle, it's either most-of-the-way or nothing! Damn kids, get off my lawn! Wait, what was I talking about? I think my old man is showing (not a euphemism, well not a dirty one).
Oh, DO go on.