Halloween Scene: Critters (1986)

Gah, damn you Ruins for taking up so many of the last few hours of today, you almost made me miss my self-imposed schedule of posting about something horror every day (the Star Wars Death Troopers thing doesn't count). Okay, so as I mentioned a few weeks ago, I scored three Critters VHS tapes at a flea market. I'm pretty sure I've never seen Critters, even as a kid, but I remember being amazed by the box art of the tape at the video store. Anyway, the box art is much cooler than the movie. I guess it's aimed at a younger audience and I'm not young anymore, so it didn't really keep my attention.

See, the plot of the movie is that these aliens called Krites escape a space prison (maybe it's the same one from Star Slammer. They land on Earth and then these shapeshifting bounty hunters follow to take them back. It takes a little while to get going and then it's not all that thrilling, like I said, aimed at kids and featuring a proto-Forrest Gump who swears he knew the aliens were coming. I hear he's the star of the next few movies. It wasn't a great movie, but it was good enough for me to at least want to watch the next three movies in the series, though I can't promise I'll still be saying that after another movie or two.

One thing I did want to mention is that I was surprised at how good the movie looks. They don't cheap-out on the space prison or the space ship. I mean, they're not mind-blowing, but they're pretty good. Then the actual Krites look cool. I mean, they're Tribbles with mouths, but they're still pretty scary Tribbles with mouths. The gore was light, which again is understandable because this is like a kid's movie. Gremlins super-light basically. I think I would ad Critters 1 and 2 movie posters to my man cave in a heartbeat. Also, this was definitely not my mystery Mini Monster movie. Damn, gotta keep looking.

Whew, made it!

[post does not go on]
Oh, DO go on.

Mini Monsters: Cat's Eye (1985)

There were two reasons I checked out Stephen King's anthology horror flick Cat's Eye. First off, this horror magazine I read called HorrorHound wrote about it in their latest issue which was anthology themed. A quick note on HH before moving on. I love this mag, but the lack of editing drives me CRAZY. As an editor myself and a big fan of upstart magazines (that's definitely not an easy mountain to climb right now), I want the writing to be as crisp and consistent as possible to it won't turn off people like me who are driven crazy by such things. As an example, depending on what kind of style guide you use, you either italicize a movie title or put it in quotes. Sometimes they italicize, sometimes they do quotes and sometimes they do both! I don't know if this bothers you normal folks, but it bugs me. I guess it's not all that bad because I'm still reading it, but I'd love to create a style guide for them.

The other reason I checked Cat's Eye out is because Rickey thought that it might be the mini monster movie I remember from my childhood, but still haven't been able to track down. And that lack of success has continued with Cat's Eye even though it does have a gremlin monster of some kind and the bouncing ball. But, I had a blast watching it so who cares?

So did my cat Milo. Before getting into the movie review, here's a few pics I took of him watching the cat (the connector of the three stories) run away from a dog. He loves watching animals on TV.







So, the three stories are like this. First, James Woods joins this crazy-strict mob-run program that helps you quit smoking on the threat of harm to your loved ones. It's over the top and has great moments of dark humor and I didn't see the end coming. The second story focuses on a rich guy torturing the guy who plans to run away with the rich guy's wife by making him walk around the outside of a skyscraper. And the final, my personal favorite, brings the cat into the hero role as he defends a little girl (Drew Barrymore) from a mini monster, even though her mom swears the cat is causing all the problems.

What I like best about the final segment is the practical effects they used to convey the mini monster running around Barrymore's bedroom. I didn't see any behind-the-scenes stuff, but it looks like the dressed a regular dude up in the costume and then put him in a room where everything was built huge to make him look tiny. Just think about how much fun that would be? I would love to do something like that. The whole idea made me smile every time they showed those scenes. Here's a video of the scene. If you're worried about spoilers you might want to skip it, but if you think anyone, even Stephen King would kill Drew Barrymore, you're nuts. Just saying.



Aside from the FX, though, all three stories are really solid and fun while still feeling scary. They play out like EC horror stories, which I love in all their non-comic forms (the few I've read, read really slow to me, but the art is awesome). So, I may not have found my mini monster, but I checked another movie off in my copy of Creature Features book
Oh, DO go on.

Mini Monsters: Ghoulies 1 and 2

Hey gang, hope everyone had a good Easter and/or Passover. I spent my weekend in New England with the wife's family which kept me from keeping you all abreast (heehee) of my search for the mini monster movie I remember from my childhood. Well, it wasn't the Troll flicks and, unfortunately it wasn't the first two Ghoulie movies either. But, like with Troll, I had a pretty good time watching them anyway.



I really didn't pay much attention to the first Ghoulies (1985) which has a dude inheriting a house from his crazy Druidic family (or something, we get a flashback in the first few minutes that supposedly explains everything). The house comes with these little monsters who start terrorizing his party guests, one of which is Mariska Hargitay for you Law and Order fans. Like I said, Ghoulies was pretty much on as background noise while I didn't something else, so once I realized it wasn't the movie I was thinking of, I kind of zoned out.

BUT

I did watch Ghoulies II (1987). In fact, I couldn't take my eyes off of it (unlike some other older movies, it actually looked really good on my HDTV upconverted from a regular ol' DVD). This sequel finds the Ghoulies terrorizing a traveling circus. Unlike 1, I actually made notes for the second Ghoulies offering and here they are for your reading pleasure.

- i dig the monsters (rat, cat, crocodile, creature from the lagoon, bat/bird)

-the cat ghoulie looks awesome, did it do what i think it did to that girl?

-Sasha Jenson's in this! (Buffy, Dazed, H4)

-"He don't go nowhere without his TUNES!"

-The kid has a ninja star!

-there's another HOUR? [it felt like I'd been watching this movie for a while at this point, after which it actually picked up]

-haha, the Ghoulies spray adhesive Gak

-they stab the dude and then wrapped him up like a mummy without taking the knife out? hmm [it looked like they took the knife out, wrapped the guy and then stabbed him again]

-rat ghoulie high five!

-I forgot that Phil Fondacaro was in Troll too (dude can emote) [seriously, Phil is the best actor in the bunch, which is a bigger compliment that it might sound]

-Ha, he pulls the hanky out of the old man's hand to cover his face after dying

-this movie looks really good upconverted on the HD tv

-oh man, the circus folk are gonne kick the ghoulies' asses! (kid, firebreather, strongman, turbin guy with a gun) [they form a team! but it doesn't last long]

-haha, the dude won't stop selling tickets [while people are getting murdered inside one of the attractions]

-the people LOVE seeing these jerks tortured [in theory they think it's all part of the act, but not a single person in the fairly large crowd looks upset or ill-at-ease with watching a person get tortured by tiny monsters]

-even the stop motion looks pretty good

-cat vs rat ghoulie in the shooting game is awesome [once the Ghoulies leave their home attraction for most of the movie, the filmmakers really have fun with the setting]

-ghoulie in the water - nice touch, i think the green one is my favorite

-bumper car and ride tampering scenes are awesome

-the business owner guy looks SO familiar, but I haven't seen any of his other projects, unless I remember VIPER better than i thought I did

-TOILET SCENE!!!!!! - yowch!

-why don't they just turn the ride back on to get the book down? Oh well it gives the pretty girl something to do [the flying Ghoulie drops the book they need high up in a ride seat]

-woah, that's a big mini monster

Well, if those random thoughts didn't convince you to check the movie out, I don't know what will, except for this: go see Ghoulies II, it'll be worth your hour and a half. Plus, 1 and 2 are on the same DVD, so you get more bang for your buck.

Anyone else seen Ghoulies 1, 2, Goes to College or 4? Or do you have any suggestions for what my mystery movie is. It has a small monster terrorizing a family in a house and there's a ball bouncing down the stairs scene. That's all I got.


Oh, DO go on.

Mini Monsters: Troll 1 and 2

2009-04-10
3:19:35 am

Okay, I'm in search of a movie from my childhood. I thought either of the Troll flicks might jog my memory. Unfortunately, neither the original nor the non-sequel struck a chord in my memory, but I sure had a good time watching both movies.

Even though the first Troll (1986) flick has a mini monster with a ball on the freakingposter, it's not the movie I remember. It is however a really strange flick with a father and son duo by the names of Harry Potter. Harry Jr's sister gets taken over by a Troll (or something) when they move into their new apartment building. Soon enough the troll is causing all kinds of trouble, even converting the other tenants in weird creatures. Luckily there's a weird old lady with a pet mushroom plant who helps Harry Jr. save the day. I'll be honest, I watched Troll over a week ago and my already shoddy memory has forgotten a lot of the details. Sonny Bono, Julia Louis-Dreyfus and June Lockhart all have rolls and entertain in their own way. It really is just a great, weird movie.

Okay, so a swing and a miss on the first flick, maybe the second would be a hit. Nope. Whiff. Yeah baseball metaphors! Anyway, I didn't really know Troll 2's crazy history or its title as "Best Worst Movie" when I added it to my Netflix but between adding it and getting the movie, it was mentioned on both Horror Movie a Day and in the Totally Rad Show podcast. So, I was kind of excited to finally watch the movie, which apparently started life as a completely different movie about goblins. BC and HMAD did a pretty right on review though I think I liked the movie a lot more.

Yes, it's completely ridiculous and poorly acted, but it's definitely not the worst movie I've ever seen. Slumber Party Massacre 2 still holds that spot. Anyway, the TRS guys talked about a documentary created by the kid who starred in Troll 2 that I'm interested in checking out.

Instead of doing a straight-up review, I'll post the notes I made while watching the first three quarters of the movie (I gave up and just watched, probably buzzed, after a while).

Here goes, with commentary when necessary:

-he's imagining his dead g-pa telling him a story?

-Kid has a Superman poster and fucking Killing Joke Joker HAHAHAHAHAHAHA poster!!!

-"You take them to bed with you and i don't believe in group sex" (the daughter in the story says this about her boyfriend and his friends)

-acting is BAD

-"Joshua start singing" (I think one of the parents yells this at the kid/hero)

-this kid has crazy dreams - green blood/sweat, tree fingers and sucking chest wound

-holy crap, they're driving an aerostar (in high school I drove a 1994 Ford Aerostar Mini Van, this one is pretty similar)

-the town is called Nilbog, hahahaha

-who would ever trade houses with strangers? (the whole story revolves around the main family leaving their regular house to live in the house of some strangers in Nilbog who never really leave)

-mom has a menacing/evil quality because she keeps staring RIGHT AT THE CAMERA

-is that a stripe of blue frosting on the corn? (yes, goblins love putting frosting on stuff)

-hahaha he pissed on the food! (to make sure his family wouldn't eat it)

-dad just challenged Josh to a not eating contest "just remember I've got more practice at this than you do." (which is exactly how your dad handled you when you peed on the food)

-i hear my friend scream in the woods, i'm out the door seeing if he's okay, not drinking mountain dew (the boyfriend and his friends borrow a mobile home which they park near Nilbog, not a good move in the long run)

-eww, Nilbog "special milk" that's not refrigerated

-that's not pudding it's a cheesecake with green frosting

-nothing like a warm jug of milk on a hot day

The movie goes on from there and never lets up in the weirdness. There's a scene where the Nilbogians throw a surprise party in the family's house without them knowing it that is out of control and of course, the end is nuts (you'll never hear a kid say Grandpa so many times).

Ha, which reminds me. The grandpa's name is Seth, but the kid seems to have a ridiculously hard time wrapping his mouth around the word and it just comes out garbled every time.

Anyway, you could probably start a whole blog just on this movie. I enjoyed it for the most part and have my eyes peeled for the Troll 1 and 2 DVD at a reasonable price, but, unfortunately, my mini monster quest is not yet over. Somehow I'll soldier on...

By watching Ghoulies 1 and 2! Coming soon!

Oh, DO go on.

In Search of a Mini Monster With a Ball

Okay, so as many of you know, I'm a big fan of horror movies. For the most part horror flicks remained a terrifying mystery that I didn't want anything to do with until I turned 14 and could ride my bike up to the nearby Family Video where you could get six tapes for $3 and the clerks were pretty lax when it came to checking IDs.



But, I actually saw my first horror movie years earlier. Well, the REAL first horror movie I saw was on accident when my parents were out of town and the babysitter had some friends over to watch Evil Dead. I happened to come downstairs during the infamous tree rape scene. Actually, that night is probably why I wanted nothing to do with horror movies. I was scarred.

But, back to the whole point of this post. The first full horror movie I remember seeing involved some kind of tiny monster and a ball bouncing down the steps. I always assumed it was Troll or Troll 2, but I just checked both flicks out last week and I was surprised to find that I had no recollection of either flick. It's obviously not either of the Gremlins movies and I thought it wasn't Leprechaun, which I've seen in the past few years and didn't seem to remember either.

So, I'm at a loss. I've got the first two Ghoulies movies from Netflix and have gone through the first one. No luck again. Maybe it's Critters? Rickey suggested a Stephen King anthology flick called Cat's Eye that's luckily on Netflix Instant. Anyone else got any suggestions? I know the description is hardly helpful, but maybe someone else has a suggestion I can check out. I'm having a great time going through these mini monster movies.


Oh, DO go on.