Gap Holiday Commercial Leaves Me Feeling Conflicted

I spend a lot of time in front of a TV these days. Working from home/being unemployed will do that to you. I should be going places and putting this laptop to good use or maybe listening to music instead, but TV is my drug and I'm mainlining. As it is, I've seen the above Gap holiday commercial probably a hundred times since it started appearing on my TV like a wraith. But like I said I'm conflicted. Aside from the fact that the jingle is annoying as all get out, it seems kind of ridiculous to try and deconstruct holidays like Christmas, Hanukkah and Kwanzaa ("We'll do what just feels right"). I understand the sentiment behind it, but don't we do "what just feels right" every other day? These holidays are some of the only traditions that a lot of people still hold. But more than that, it's REALLY ANNOYING. On the other hand I do like dancing and I'm pretty sure the girl that tries to surf the guy at the very end did hurt herself when she fell, so that's a plus.

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Gotta Love These Reebok Butt Commercials

I can't be the only one loving these commercials for Reebok EasyTone shoes which are apparently designed to tone your butt...easily. Aside from showing a cute girl walking around in short shorts, I love that the commercial doesn't shy away from actually using the word "butt." So many informercials and commercials wuss out and use "fanny" or "backside." What are we children? Just say "butt!"

It might seem like the commercial is aimed at men because of the aforementioned cute girl and the camera's wandering eye, but here's my take on it after watching three seasons of Mad Men. Women will want to buy these shoes not only for the reason that it's an easy way to tone your butt (which the commercial easily conveys), but also because the ladies want to draw the eyes of the cameramen in their lives (or on the street). Think about it. Thanks Don Draper!

Maybe I'll get a pair for myself, I could use some tightening.

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Comic Book Commercials, It's About Friggin Time!

So, as you may or may not have heard already, Vertigo announced on their blog that they're running a commercial for their graphic novels Filthy Rich and Dark Entries on BBC America and dag-nabbit, it's about damn time. You can watch it here. Why don't comic companies advertise more? The only other time I remember seeing a commercial advertising comic books was back when Todd McFarlane would pop up, sitting in his weird, giant chair talking about how Spawn was the best selling comic of all time.

By placing ads in comics, you're preaching to the choir, but by actually telling the rest of the world, you're doing this thing called "expanding your audience." I'd say it's basic business, but I have no idea if that's an actual term because I've never studied business, but it's at least logical. Now, I know that commercials cost a ton of money (though they cost less if you have in-house designers put something together like this, Marvel does the same thing with their online commercials). All you have to do is tell normal people that the product is actually out there. I've actually had conversations with people after they saw movies like Spider-Man, X-Men and Batman Begins where they're astonished that comic books still come out. That was incredibly demoralizing. That would be like people not knowing movies or cartoons or books still came out. Gah!

I will concede, that, given these rough economic times, that it might not make the most sense to advertise on television. But here's an idea. Advertise during the movies. Not in the actual movies, that would be just too meta, but before or after. Throw some fairly recent covers up there and say something like "To check out the further adventures of Iron Man, go to your local comic shop!" or "Go to Marvel.com!" or "Subscribe here!" Just do something to let the general population know that comic books still exist and are still out there for popular consumption. We need the new readers you guys.

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Hey Kid, Your Mom Hated You

One of the things that worries me about this world of online tell-alls is that people divulge too much information. I believe that some things should remain private and worry about kids growing up now who have their entire lives on Facebook, Twitter and Blogspot archives. Well, apparently this isn't just a problem for young people. Has anyone else seen this HSBC Soap Box commercial? The second person who gets up (starting at 5 seconds and going to 10) says "I didn't want to be a mom. It took me three months to love him. I can't imagine my life without him." That's some cold shit right? Why would ever say that? I mean out loud. Ever. Not just to a commercial camera crew. Which she did. Your kid WILL see that. Especially if he somehow becomes such a UnitedMonkee fan that he's driven to read all my archives. Sometimes those things we think inside our heads should stay in there.

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Are The New Snuggie Commercials Worse Than The Old One?

The short answer is yes. Not only can you now get your Snuggie in leopard and zebra print, but now your dog can get one too. That's right, your fur-covered dog can now get his or her own blanket with sleeves. You know, four of them. I've seen this commercial a few times and, while trying to find it on YouTube, stumbled across ever more.

Here's the one I keep seeing, notice the booty bump, roof raising and old man without a Snuggie at the football game. All he has is a stupid jacket, HA!:

Here's the one that asks what we've all been asking "When will you make designer Snuggies?" The answer is now.

This one specifically targets people who want their pets to look like assholes too:

And here's another fantastic voice over parody:

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Superheroes And Sluts Dance To Thriller

Just saw this on TV and thought it was pretty funny. You've got everyone from girl Robin to Captain America and Harry Potter to Jack Sparrow. I'm sure MJ was thinking of this as his legacy.

EDIT: So, apparently the video I copied from the Party City website just plays automatically. I've seen what can happen to a website that automatically plays pointless videos in the top right-hand corner, so just follow this link if you're still interested.

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SNL Phone Commerical

No, it's not a parody, it's an actual commercial for the T-Mobile MyTouch 3G phone. I'm sure you're all as sick of this freaking song as I am, but it's still cool to see Chevy Chase, Molly Shannon, Dana Carvey and Darrell Hammond "together."

I doubt it will ever happen, but how cool would it be to get a season of SNL All-Stars? Keep a smaller regular crew and send an open invitation to all the cast members and writers (or the ones still in good standing with Lorne Michaels) and maybe see who can show up for a week or better yet a full season. I'm sure there are all kinds of problems I'm not thinking of that this would cause, but as a gigantic SNL fan, I would love it and I bet it would be a pretty huge ratings-getter.

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You Just Got Served By Elmo

YEAH BOOOOOYEE

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Vegas Chinchilla Commercials

As if Vegas needed to prove to you that it was cool:





Awesome.

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When Did Miracle Whip Get So Awesome?!

Have you guys seen Miracle Whip's new, X-Treme commercials? They're ridiculous! Hipsters freaking LOVE this stuff.

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Apparently this isn't the first time MW has tried to appeal to a younger generation though, check out the new wave version:


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It's Awesome When Your Mom Helps You With That Threesome

Having people, especially girls, was never really an issue with me in high school (obviously cause I was so awesome), so I never had to worry about how bad my room smelled. A lot of people I know weren't allowed to have members of the opposite sex in their room because their parents feared the kids' carnal curiosity. But not this kid. His mom rolls in, makes this goober's room smell awesome and all just in time for his two "friends" to show up.



What is this, Weeds?
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The Sexiest Sub Commercial Ever?

I saw this version of this commercial late one night and was pretty surprised at how sexy is was. It was about the same time I saw the lady-trimming commercial. Later Em asked me about it but there's a different version on TV that, I think, lacks the "put it in me" part. Just watch. You'll laugh. And maybe get turned on.


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Jason Alexander's Awesome 80s McDonalds Commercial

It's no The Burning, but you gotta love a young Jason Alexander dancing around advertising a new kind of burger container.


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