5:20:06 am
Holy crap, Machine Girl is an awesome movie. If you like action, big guns, Asian school girls, Dead Alive levels of blood, crazy murders, track suit wearing ninjas and a quartet of vengeful relatives with a football (American, I'll say soccer when I mean soccer) motif and gun gauntlets, then this is the movie for you.
I first heard about this flick last year when one of my buddies sent it around in an E-mail. I was pretty blown away by the trailer, which turned out to be the first few minutes of the movie, and was super excited when I came across it on Netflix and bumped it to the top of my list.
Here's the basic story. The main girl, Machine Girl (or MG from here on out) has this brother who's being bullied by the son of a Yakuza. Little bro gets killed in a tussle with the bullies which sends his sister on a murderous rampage that leads her to the Yakuza who cuts her arm off. This is after her arm gets tempura fried by the mom of one of the other kids. Hilarious. So, after her arm gets sliced, she goes to this mechanic who builds her an arm that's a freaking Gatling gun. From there, the aforementioned ninjas in red track suits and catcher protective gear show up to get massacred. It's their deaths that lead to their family members getting recruited by the bad guys and turned into football-themed assassins.
So, as you can see the movie is awesome. The action is great, the kills and gore are worthy of the best slasher movies and it's freaking funny. It knows how crazy it is and revels in it, just like I did. THIS is what I wanted Smokin' Aces to be. Thank God, someone's still making awesome bloody action movies. Thanks Japan!
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